Akunk, Armenia

Well, it seems my brain was boiling over when I was writing my previous post. I am feeling a lot more clear headed now.

I have been with my host family for two nights now. Unfortunately, the morning before my arrival one of my host sisters was taken to the hospital. I have yet to meet her or my host mom at this point. Angela, 22, is one of my three host sisters and she speaks English very well. She will be a great, great help to me in learning Armenia. Unlike my language teachers, she is very open about telling me my pronunciation is wrong. That may change though, because on Friday the language class will be split into three groups. We were asked to give a self assessment of where we are and group ourselves with other similar levels within the class. Luckily, I have been told by my host family, my friend's host family and the man at the store that my Armenian (Hayeren) is very clear and good. Apparently, it's impressive. Before coming I thought this may be a possibility, as my history in music has given me a good ear for copying sounds precisely and using my tongue to make them.

I will say though, I am struggling to make guttural noises. It is so hard!! There are two different letters in the Armenian alphabet that are guttural and  differentiating them is nearly impossible at the moment. My host sister will be working on that though, don't worry.

There is much and more to say, but that is all the time I have. One quick tip: When travelling in Armenia and female, do not smoke cigarettes... they'll think you're 'available'. So much for wondering if I would be able to quit completely. Oh, and my bathroom is an outhouse, with a hole in ground. Ask for change and ye shall receive. 

Greetings from Armenia

Hello Babies!!!!

I finally made it! I am here in Armenia which is about an hour outside the capital city of Yerevan. The A-20 group has been here since Friday morning. When we arrived, the country manager and other Peace Corps Armenia staff took us to the Cathedral of Zvartnots (c.650 - 659 A.D.) to watch the sunrise. It is tradition for when new groups arrive each year and it is really special. I just posted pictures on the FB, so check them out there.

It's absolutely mind blowing that it is just shy of one week since my last blog post. Yesterday I started drafting a blog post that was going to have the break down of my travel and simply recalling those three days was tiresome, so I dropped that idea. So much has happened, I have met so many new people and been told a great multitude of things, trying to put together a succinct post is proving to be a challenge. I feel like my head to going to explode... in a good way.

This is the short of it: Tuesday I flew to D.C. and had about a 5 hour introductory session there. The next morning all 44 of us gathered our (overwhelming) luggage and headed off to Vienna. After a nine hour flight, we had day rooms right near the airport and had a to chance to grab some rest. I took a bath. Later that night we flew out around 10:30pm and arrived in Yerevan at 4:30am. Next was the cathedral, then an hour drive to our remote location. This was my first opportunity to sleep since the day before and I passed out like a rock. We were briefly introduced to our teachers and one another. For the last two days we have been in language, health, security and technical sessions that are about one hour each but last throughout the day. Luckily last night I went to bed and woke up at my normal, it feels great to be adjusted to the time.

Tomorrow I meet my PST host family. I am so very excited to unpack my things and get settled in. I will be there for approximately 11 weeks, whereafter my service truly begins and I am moved to my permanent site. I don't want to get ahead of myself, though. The next three months will be a great challenge, but I welcome it. Thus far I have been diligent with my yoga, writing and meditation practices and it seems this has helped to keep me both balanced and... nice.


Later gators!

Sentiments Before Departing

It's my last real morning at home in Babylon. The weather has been beautiful the last couple of days, but currently, it's foggy and overcast. I've left home so many times, for college each year, for AmeriCorps in Boston, and now for Peace Corps in Armenia. This time though, is truly the last. All of my things are packed so that when I do return to the states I can easily ship out. And this time, I can feel it in my bones that it is the end of a certain chapter in my life.

Last week I met my brother Andrew out in the eastern north fork of Long Island, wine country. I have and will always cherish our friendship. There is a Bob Dylan lyric (get used to this readers, because I will probably use his lyrics to process what happens over in Armenia as well) that pretty much sums up the backbone of our relationship, "We always did feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view". We spent the afternoon tasting delicious wines and soul-talking (as I like to call it). The conversation began at a cute bistro in Cutchogue for lunch, where we started with the future. What was my flight itinerary? 2014, eh? Have plans for you return before you do Carolyn, promise me. Eventually, we got to the past. We spoke of ugly and pretty moments we've shared, things we're not proud of and those that we are.

On the ride home, this wave of emotion hit me and I started to cry. Not because I was upset over the thought that we most likely won't see one another for two years and not because I am scared or sad to leave. It was a feeling that's somewhat new to me, but it's something which I am getting used to. It's gratitude and acceptance of where I've been and where I'm headed. On those back country roads with the sun beginning to set, I knew with not a single doubt that I'd made it. I got through the tough stuff, I climbed out of the quick sand and it is the most amazing feeling.

And now, I get to leave, like I've always wanted. I get to go out with my head held high, with my friends and family behind me. It is the most beautiful thing I've experienced thus far.

"So, why are you doing this?"

Last night I had my birthday/going away party at my parents home on Long Island. It was so wonderful to be surrounded my family members and close friends for an evening. It's been a wild year and last night was chalk full of surreal moments. It's been two years since I first applied to the Peace Corps and I want it more now than I did at first. Initially, my greatest motivation was escape. Now, I feel so determined to fully achieve this accomplishment. Getting nominated and later invited were feats within themselves, but to set out and get through the commitment is a whole different ball game.

Some of my parent's friends stopped by to say hello and have a drink. One of the ladies, whom has always been mildly blunt, walks straight over to me and says, "So, why are you doing this?" With little hesitation I responded, "It's an experience that I want." There you have it folks. I don't think I'm going to save the world, or that I'm some really awesome altruistic individual that sacrifices self to help others. I don't see myself that way at all. I am a human being with flaws, who is searching for meaningful connections. I have some already but, why not branch out in a completely unique and individual way?

I have this image in my head of what the Peace Corps experience will be for me. As my branches extend their reach, my roots will deepen and strengthen. In my growth, I will become more grounded. This is what I seek. I have some idea of what this will mean in fine print, but can't know truly until I arrive and start the journey. I remember being 21, directionless, and the Peace Corps crossing my mind as a possibility. I can't believe it's becoming an actuality with each nearing day. It doesn't matter that it took me this long, or that I'll be 27 by the time I get home. I am on my own timeline that doesn't line up with a lot of my peers, and that is ok. Where ever you are on your timeline is ok, too. Don't listen to anyone who ever told you you 'should' or 'need' to do, think, speak, or live in a certain way; because really, they just mean their way.  Chances are, their way won't work best for your growth.


It's funny, I got so many goodbye hugs and kisses and yet it STILL doesn't feel real.  Hopefully though, when I start to freak out (because I don't know when, but I know at some point it will happen) I'll think of all my proud friends and family back home cheering me on, smiling, singing, tears of love streaming down their faces. I'll remember all the moments of love and beauty from last night with a smile on my face and keep truckin'.