Enter

“You too, put your foot forward. If you do not wish to, then follow your fantasies. But if you prefer the secrets of the love of your soul you will sacrifice everything. You will lose what you consider to be valuable, but you will soon hear the sacramental word, ‘Enter’.” Catching the Thread Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

This is a quote from a Sufism text that I downloaded before leaving. Every couple of days I will read a paragraph or two when I am waiting for gmail to load. I found this this quote to be so very apropos.

Tomorrow I will travel to Malishka, my permanent site. We found out where we were going on Monday and the last two days we had a counterpart conference. Our counterparts are Armenian teachers with varying experience and skills. My counterpart did not show up, but her friend came instead…Her friend, whom has no association with Peace Corps or my future project.

Anywho, I’ll be staying with my new host family for three nights and then am to travel back to Yerevan on my own! It’s about a two-hour trip via marshutni. Marshutni’s resemble kidnapper vans with seats in them. Have I talked about these before? I can’t remember, oh well. But yea, there are about 12 actual seats and will be packed with about 20 people. It’s ALWAYS an interesting ride, always. Whether it’s the snow cat* in the back, the loud Americans, teenage boys making fun, the women offering a sliver of a seat to an elderly woman, or the smelly armpit you could reach out and lick if you felt like it, there is always something entertaining happening. 

I will write a nice long post about my time down in Malishka when I return. Wish me luck!

*Snow Cat: An attractive Armenian man, exotic, nearly extinct and beautiful. I coined this term for all of my lady friends.

One month down, 26 to go!

This last week has been jam packed with travel. Last Sunday afternoon into the evening I was in Masis, which is about an hour from Akunk. On Monday, I took a field trip with nine other volunteers all the way to Stepanavan to visit GLOW Camp. Stepanavan is about a three-hour drive through the Armenian countryside. Girls Leading Our World is a worldwide organization, with Armenia’s version  a six-day camp with 40 participants happening once a year.

I had a day off on Tuesday (meaning I didn’t leave Akunk and had class all day).  Then on Wednesday the whole group went into Yerevan for the day. Armenia’s capital city is much like any other Western city. There’s a lot of traffic, stores, cafes, restaurants and even a Marriot. And, just like every other city in the world, it’s much more stuffy and hotter than the country. Thursday and Friday were both low key, but still full days of school.  Yesterday (Saturday) was a very long day. In the morning, we had a morning cross cultural session and language class in the afternoon. Afterwards, I rushed home to prepare for my twenty-two year old h.sister’s engagement party. Her fiancé is currently serving his mandatory two years of service in the army. He just finished up his first year and is home on break for ten days.

The Armenian engagement process is slightly different from that of the American one. There is an informal agreement between the couple and later, they become engaged at the party itself. Prior to the party, the bride and groom families come together and agree upon a date. At the party, the groom’s family arrives jointly in a procession, presenting the ring and other gifts (like 30 year old brandy). 

 Shortly after all the formal greetings, toasts begin. There are so many throughout the evening, mostly made by men. It was a tight squeeze in our makeshift banquet room, so I quickly learned how to eat an entire meal with my left hand. I probably looked incredibly ridiculous. Sitting across from me was the groom’s grandfather. Seeing that I understand 3% of what is being said, I watch everyone around me most of the time. This man was so hilarious and interesting. He made a lot of toasts right off the bat and for every toast, the men take a shot of vodka. All booze is drank out of shot glasses, even wine.

About 20 minutes in he got really emotional during a toast and started crying. It was short lived because it was time to eat. He wrapped meat and cheese inside a lavash wrap. He then reached into his pocket to whip out his own personal knife. He proceeded to cut this meat and cheese sandwich into tiny, tiny pieces. I was avidly watching him and as I looked up, he was smiling at me and pointed to his one tooth!  After this, we were friends. A little later on, he was making yet another toast and looked straight at me and said, “WOMAN! WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?!” That cracked everyone in the room up, and then I was poured some more brandy.

He kept shaking my hand and winking at me the whole meal. I was having a swell time laughing at everything because well, they were laughing.  Papik (grandpa) was saying many toasts to me. Eventually, my h.uncle asked if I knew what he was saying and of course, I didn’t. He said something along the lines of “You beautiful American will be my wife for a short time”. My uncle asked me if I agreed, I did. Papik was pretty drunk after awhile and passed out in the bedroom.

Even though I couldn’t understand what was being said around me, I had a really good time. They had me toast my host sister in English and Armenian at different times. At the end of the night, my host sister's kids were blasting music in Grigor's industrial van. Nelly's "Just A Dream" came on and I experienced yet another surreal moment. I flashbacked to living in Boston and not knowing if Peace Corps was going to happen at all. Now that it's my reality, it sometimes feels like a dream. 

One Day In Akunk

This has been a super crazy week already and today was a really, really wonderful day. I awoke early and decided not to go running with Jesse, mainly because I wanted to do laundry and write before school. Also, I have been meaning to wake up early and spend the first hour of my day writing out in the garden with complete stillness. I finally honored this desire! It was such an awesome way to start my day.

I got up around 6:30 and rolled out of bed straight to the outhouse. I put the water on for the coffee and started doing the dishes from the night before. I can not, guiltlessly, use the kitchen without cleaning up. It’s so curious how when living at home the sentiment is not the same (sorry Mom). I clean up after myself, but am begrudging about doing it for others. In Armenia though, I would feel like a total shit head if I did not do everyone’s dishes in the am before they all wake. Also, there is typically around 25 flies floating around the kitchen area and I feel better about the flies if they have nothing to shit on.

After the dishes were done, the water was starting to boil so I added the finely ground coffee, turned the burner off and stirred. The sink and washer machine are streamlined from the same piping system (I’m probably using awful lingo here), so they cannot be used simultaneously. As my coffee cooled, I put my laundry in and turned the washer machine on. Afterwards, I grabbed my coffee, flannel, gurnal, and headed out to the garden. It was chilly this morning, but I was still able to get away with bare feet, yoga pants and said flannel.

The sun climbed over the mountain peaks as I mulled over the last two days. Writing about my eventful Sunday in Masis, where I drank 15 year old brandy with my host uncle and mother. I was examining how we view one another and the bonds I have began to form since being here. It’s almost been one month. So wild.  About an hour later, my h.mother came out and sat with me for a bit. Before breakfast, I hung my clothes out on the line to dry while my youngest host sister stood close by silently watching me.

After school, I walked over to my friend Phi’s house on the other side of town to deliver her packages (that lucky B!). She was not feeling so good today and skipped our afternoon TEFL session. I brought her her package because I knew there would be goodies in there, and I wanted some danggit! A couple of hours later I walked home and stopped to chat with the boy gang because Hasmik, a little girl whom speaks English pretty well, was with them and spoke out to me. I got all of their names, those little rats! Hopefully they will treat me less like a sideshow freak and more like a neighbor in the weeks to come. 

After dinner, I went out to the garden and plucked some fresh mint stalks for my nightly tea. My h.mother had started cooking something interesting and I told her I wanted to help. She let me, but not without much reprimanding at first. We were preparing food for the morning. It was basically mashed potatoes with different fresh herbs from her garden, with salt wrapped in dough. Grigor, my host father, must have smelled them from wherever the hell he was because he showed up out of nowhere and ate about 8 of them. 

And that, my friends, is one day in Akunk.

p.s. Send me a package full of unexpected extravagant treats and I will be indebted to you for years to come. 

Week 3 in Akunk

This last week was the roughest one thus far.  Now that the adrenaline and excitement has worn off, reality has settled in some. Language class has gotten increasingly difficult and we only get one day off a week. There are few stolen moments of down time.  It may not appear that way to my host family, but it’s hard to consider it down time when you’re not in your home, not speaking your native tongue and have to let several people know of your whereabouts at all times.

Things were a little different this week, as the TEFL director insisted that her two-hour trainings be treated with the same importance as language class. We did an experiment where TEFL training was switched into the morning slot and language the afternoon. Nobody, nobody I tell you, was happy (this is false). Sitting through four hours of Armenian in a hot stuffy classroom after eating a heavy lunch is not ideal. I’m not complaining, but… well I guess I am. 

I so look forward to getting more familiar with the culture and eventually being off on my own. It’s easy to forget how awesome having FREEDOM can be. I am free in the philosophical sense but a lot of my life is scheduled here. There are things I have to do that frankly, I do not want to do. It’s also weird to feel guilty about wanting/needing to decompress. Some days I feel like a monkey in a cage whom needs to be performing at all times.  My host sisters are sort of fascinated with me; when I come home from school they want to hear all about it and take me places, and all I want to do is take a nap. Having a younger host sister is making me appreciate the fact that I was the baby of my family. It’s definitely a switch up in the roles…and necessarily an easy one.

Six days a week, I walk to and from school twice a day. One morning an enormous, hideous, terrifying bird began harassing me. It is the first time that I have felt truly afraid since being in Armenia. I have never seen a bird like this in America, but he’s a little smaller than a seagull and loud as hell. He was darting and squawking at me over and over until I literally started running a little bit. Just in time, I realized that I was about to trample over two other similar looking birds.  I was glad to understand why he was harassing me, but it didn’t make it any less scary. The next day, I saw some of the little boys that live near there messing with the hurt (maybe old?) birds. And as you might have already guessed, this same bird was losing his mind again.

Now, everyday I have to suck it up as this bird does his best to scare me away. Then on the way home, I have to get tough for the 10 little boys that harass me. They range in ages five to about fifteen. Some days, I feel like an 8yr old again. My new defense mechanism for the boy gang is to speak to them in English, just as they speak to me in Armenian. That worked for about two days…

But don’t worry. There is a lot of laughter, with my host mother and my friends here in Akunk. On Thursday of last week we had the opportunity to meet up with the group of volunteers who got here one year ago (A-19’s). We had group sessions for about three hours or so and then everyone went out to the field to play Capture the Flag. It was so much fun. I forgot how much I love to compete in big team games like that.  On the hour drive back to Akunk, in my favorite seat on our bus, Bobby D crooned through my headphones as the sun began to set across the Armenian landscape. Moments and images like these are truly worth every frustration. I smile to myself, giggle like an insane person and realize again, I AM IN ARMENIA!! 

Settling In

Hey Babies

I miss you, I love you!

I just had an awkward experience where my host mother’s family came over around 9pm at night and her nephew told me “ I would like you in my house” in English. Things just keep getting more and more interesting…

I get internet about three times a week and for two of those days it’s only for two hours. Once I get to my permanent site, it will be more regular. I have finally gotten myself a working phone and it’s so nice to be in contact with the volunteers not located in my village. It definitely lightens up the day when I get an ABSURD text from a friend that I can giggle to myself about.  For those of you interested in sending me presents, love notes, or pictures of yourself to put up on my wall then ask me and I will send you my address in an private email or message.

I have been able to get some sort of physical activity in at least once a day. There are two other women that I practice yoga with two times a week. It is such a pleasure to have these ladies in Akunk so that we may relax and rejuvenate together. I am so pleased with myself for having purchased a travel size, battery operated boom box thingy. (It’s cool as hell and all I want to do is put on some futuristic outfit and walk around with the little guy on my shoulder).   If you’re looking for something portable with good sound quality, check out Logitech.  It is exactly what I need and the envy of all my friends. (I made that up). I really must say, I brought a lot of unnecessary clothing but my speakers, yoga mats and essential oils have been so imperative in this transition. With these things, I can easily get back to a place of normalcy and calm. Interestingly enough, I have not really had to ‘get back’ to that place, as I’ve  yet to stray too far away from equilibrium.

Maybe it hasn’t hit me yet, but I feel totally at ease about where I am. Of course, there have been some minute challenges in the last couple of weeks. At times I have been irritable, exhausted and overwhelmed but all of these moments have been passing and temporary. Now that my host family’s situation has returned to normal everything else seems inconsequential. I’m amazed at how much I have been able to pick up the language thus far.  This morning on my walk to school (which takes about 7 minutes) I came upon a neighbor that I have yet to see. I was able to have a fluid interaction with her and could understand what she said to me. It was so exciting!!!

I got placed into the group of advanced speakers when we first arrived and a lot of Armenians have been complimenting me on my Armenian, so my confidence is pretty high right now. I don’t always get things right in class, but I sound good. As far as I am concerned, if you have the correct grammar but you can’t pronounce the words correctly, it sort of defeats the point. But hey, that’s just how I feel annndddd I probably feel that way because my grammar sucks but I pronounce things very well.

So, the other morning I was dreaming that I was in upstate New York, where my family’s summer home is on Lake George. In real life, I was invited to the annual 4^th of July party on Facebook. In the dream, I was at the party. It was early in the day and I was distressed because I was supposed to be in Armenia!!  I just recall being confused that I wasn’t there and wondering how I was going to get back. I awoke with a jolt and was totally surprised to find myself actually in Armenia in my comfortable little warm bed. I thought it was interesting. My immediate family members probably will not think so, as they have been listening to my dream recollections and expected to be as fascinated with my subconscious as I was my whole life. Ha. Maybe you can find some meaning in the dream!

Hope ya’ll are doing well!

Week 1 in Akunk

Week 1 in Akunk

Sunday was the first day in about two weeks that upon waking I was able to lounge in bed without a care. Nowhere to be, nothing pressing to do … it’s a feeling I easily embrace.  My host sister is still not home from the hospital and her mother is with her, so the house is pretty quiet right now. Every moment of silence that I steal is infinitely cherished. I was able to sneakily make my own coffee in an American sized cup and continue reading book 5 of Fire and Ice uninterrupted.  Simply thinking about it makes me smile.

 I just returned home from a 40^th birthday party for one of the volunteers.  Stacy is from Oklahoma and has an amusing larger than life personality. His family invited the eleven other volunteers in my village of Akunk ( Ah-koo-nk) over for treats and toasts. All four cakes were home made and incredible tasty (hamov). Currently, I do not have a working Armenian cell phone number, so my language teacher arrived unannounced at my house to escort me over to the party.  One of the host brothers was waiting outside in his Mercedes. This guy cracks me up, he’s sort of like an Armenian John Travolta in Grease. He is a very handsome, muscular young man and is aware of his appeal so much so that he rocks a sleeveless button up shirt regularly. 

Wait, wait, wait, Mercedes?!?! Let me explain. Like any other place in the world, there are varying socioeconomic status’ within Akunk. The difference between the disparities here and in America is the importance or priority of certain amenities. For instance, my host family has an outhouse but is in the process of putting a swimming pool in where the garage once was.

I believe I mentioned it before, but, my family is relatively less wealthy than the other host families. I have yet to go to a host home and find it equal to or even close to my standard of living. Admittedly, this has been a little bit hard to swallow. As a coping mechanism, I have constantly reminded myself of a few things. For one, I like to think that the adjustment to my future permanent site is going to be a lot smoother. Secondly, it’s an amazing experience in being on this side of the equation. One of my new friends is living in a really nice host home and in America she was sharing an one bedroom apartment with her mother and brother. So ultimately, she deserves to be in that nice house more than I do. I have known luxury, so what good would it do me to simply continue in that lifestyle? I wouldn’t experience the sort of personal growth that I am seeking in this experience.

 You’re probably wondering what I mean by nice in reference to the houses. Each new home that I enter surprises me more than the last. Driving around, you would never expect to find brand new flat screen TV’s and up to date bathrooms and kitchens. From the outside, the soviet era looking buildings remain… concrete, metal, dirt roads. Things appear to be very downtrodden. Leaving the street and entering a home is like stepping through a time machine. While there are new appliances, there are still many out of date ways of thinking. For instance, my sister is attending college in Yerevan and very much loves American pop culture. If she was dropped into any American city she would in no way look out of place. Yet, she adheres to many unfounded beliefs. For instance, being barefoot in the house will make you sick and water is only to be drank on an empty stomach in the morning or else it’ll fatten you up. Well, if that’s true then I’m going to get even more fat and sick.

So, I am going to try something new. If there is something you want to ask me about specifically, ask away. I figure there are topics I am leaving out that some may be interested to know about. My brain has been processing so much that to try and coherently regurgitate everything is virtually impossible.