Deadlines

     As previously mentioned, I'm quite the procrastinator. I hold my father fully responsible for this awful behavioral pattern. Just joshin'. He might've passed along the tendency but ultimately, it is I who decides to take forever to get things done.
     After receiving my invitation on (Halloween) Monday, I officially accepted and entered into the Peace Corps on Wednesday, November 2nd. I sent in an email and received a response later that day informing me I needed to send in my passport and visa applications (immediately) and write an aspiration statement to send to my country of service along with an updated resume. Even though the Peace Corps office has the second element of information on file, they need new, slightly different, copies for the Armenian office. 
     I was advised to send in these documents within ten days of invitation acceptance. I thought to myself, "I will start it over the weekend"... which happened to be my mother's birthday weekend. Instead of starting my aspiration statement, I ate, drank and lounged like the queen I often think I am. Not only was it my mother's birthday weekend, but a dear friend was home for the weekend. We hadn't seen one another in about a year, so I made sure to spend time with her as well. In a word, life caught up with me. 
     Since receiving my invitation, confirming my May departure date, I find that my thoughts do not focus on my service as much as they previously had. My time is spent working, reading and forever organizing my things in a way that I can easily pack up and go. Needless to say, I did not get around to starting my statement. In fact, it utterly and completely, slipped my mind. 
     Fast forward to the next Saturday afternoon: I am working, and an acquaintance asks "So, anything new with the Peace Corps?" and it hit me. "FUCK!! AM I PAST TEN DAYS?!?!" I checked my emails to confirm and in fact it was exactly the tenth day from receiving my invite. After work I grabbed my laptop, notebook, aspiration statement instructions and headed for Starb's.(There is a disappointing amount of coffee houses in the suburbs). I was able to get most of it done and around 6pm decided that it was not likely the email would be received until Monday morning. I also soothed my guilt and disappoint with myself, by reasoning that the 10 day deadline is really more for those individuals whom receive their invitations weeks (and not months) before their departure. 
     It was such a good feeling to be back in the mindset, thinking about my service, recalling why I decided to apply and what allowed me to continue my pursuit. Here is an excerpt:

     "As an American, I have been ingrained with a high degree of confidence in my identity; I am privileged and live a life of luxury. I choose to serve to challenge my comfort with this role.  While serving, I expect to meet this challenge with commitment and perseverance. Working with my Armenian counter part will certainly have its difficulties and I will constantly remember that I am there to serve Armenia and its culture – not my self; that compromise is key to any successful partnership. I am eager to begin working with someone whom I have no obvious commonalities. The greatest challenge whilst serving will be to gain the trust of my community members so that a successful partnership can be made. As a woman, I will need to adapt to the different role females play in Armenia. As a young person, I will need to be very respectful of the community elders and cultural norms. Overall, my strategy the first several months will be take in as much as possible and once I have a substantial amount of time and experience within the community, I will become a more active participant."

Fun Anecdote: I haven't had cable TV in close to two years (some would say I have been binging)and my new favorite show is American Horror Story. Sometimes, I need to fast forward through the scary parts, but I love a good thrill. While writing this post I was also watching the latest episode, and guess what?! There was an Armenian character! Loco shizz. I'm going to ignore the fact that he was a wealthy deusche.

You're Invited...

     A few hours after writing my last post, I came home from the gym to find my invitation on the kitchen counter. I was stunned. A small amount of fear began to seep into my chest and my heart rate increased. But, my 3 yr old niece was over so it was pertinent I play 'where is Soleil' prior to opening the packet. Oddly, I didn't have any sense of urgency but rather a reluctance to open the invitation. I think there are several reasons why, but most of them are unconscious; what I do know is that I was apprehensive about what assignment I'd been given. Would it be near a body of water? Am I leaving before Christmas? Is this something I still absolutely want to do? As adventurous as I am, the idea of leaving for a two full years is slightly disconcerting. Not that I feel the need to be surrounded by family and friends at all times - if anything 'alone time' is somewhat of a necessity in my life. Rather, it's the thought of coming home at 27 and having to start anew. 
     During the application process it is asked if there are any significant relationships that would prevent you from going abroad for two years. At the time there wasn't...now there is. My boyfriend and I have been together for just about three months. And when we met, it was with the understanding that both of us would be going overseas and neither wanted something serious. To make a long story short, we agreed to keep in contact after being together for only three weeks. He left for mobilization in Fort Hood at the end of August, then we got to spend a week together in New Mexico right before he was deployed. He's currently in Baghdad with shotty communication. 
     Most of my friends think I'm crazy to have knowingly started a relationship with Peace Corps around the corner. Military relationships are known to be difficult, with or without the other party also being abroad for an extended period of time. He has no idea when he will return. As conflicted as I am, I will not change my mind about serving in the Peace Corps. I know that it is the opportunity of a lifetime and I plan to seize it. And if you read the last post, you know how much I struggled to get this far. Yet, a part of me simply wants to stay home, find a steady job and wait for my boyfriend to come home. That's the romantic in me. The little girl that's been planning her wedding since learning what they were. 
That romantic also really wants to get a cat to call my own. 
     The practical part of me realizes that while life is short, the static of adulthood is lengthy. I believe that above all else emotional and spiritual growth should take precedence. When I use the term spiritual, I am referring to our connectivity with both one another and nature. Those moments you are able to slow time down while soaking in an experience, be it with someone else or whatever you are surrounded by. This is what I am seeking in the Peace Corps. 
     So, in May of 2012 I will depart to Armenia. I will learn to communicate in both Armenian and Russian. I'm really hoping to swim in the Black and Caspian Seas. But I really hope that when I get back there will be a boyfriend and (hypoallergenic) cat waiting for me.