This Is How We Do It

Hey Hey Hey

Things have finally picked up a bit here in Malishka. This past week, I went to the school with Siranush (new h.most) to ‘go and see what’s up’. Essentially, teachers went back to school this week to see one another and get their classrooms organized. I joined Siranush two different times for the two-hour visit to the school.

I got in touch with my counterpart on Sunday but have not heard from her since. I’ve decided that, either I will see her there and it will be awkward, or I won’t and I have an opportunity to look through the resources left behind for me from the previous volunteer without any distractions. It has ended up being the latter, for which I was grateful. I was also given a key to the room, which is even more exciting. Now, I will be able to access the room without having to go through several different people.

I also had a meeting with the five other volunteers in my area to discuss safety and security issues with our go-to-guy, Vahagn. He’s THE most popular member of the Peace Corps Staff in Armenia. He’s more or less a living legend: the women want to be with him (he even gives the lesbians a tingle!) and the men want to be him. It could be the baby blues, it could be the beer gut, it could be his somewhat dark sense of humor, or it just might be the fact that he went to a Jimmy Buffet concert this summer.  No one can really explain this phenomenon, it is simply accepted.  In the meeting I thought it myself, “ Well, when the A-bomb hits, we’re definitely making it out of Armenia.” Just to make you jealous: If need be – we have access to a helicopter airlift. It’s these things that put to me sleep with a big ‘ole grin on my face.

The rest of the week has been spent integrating with my family, or as the Armenians call it, ‘hor-o-vatz-ing’. Everyone (and by everyone, I mean the women) rush around the house gathering everything together: the water, the meat, the utensils, the blankets, the coffee and coffee cups, the freshly gathered vegetables, the candy, and of course the bread! The little children run around giddy with excitement, and the men sit smoking cigarettes waiting to chauffeur everybody down to the river.

It’s really nice to be a part of this big family. There are nine grandchildren between the ages of fifteen and three. The baby girl, Gohares, is so dang cute and utterly fearless! The grandchildren belong to my amazing new Tatik I wrote about last post. My host mom has two brothers, one older and one younger. One is the father of five and the other of four. It’s difficult to describe what it’s like becoming a part of this family. I had something similar growing up and at times it feels very surreal to be on the other side of the world, with a once alien language being spoken, chicken and fish smoking over a fire, with Tatik’s arm around my waist as she points her fields out to me.

As we sat and looked out on her lands, the river rushing past us, she asks me if I want the same for myself...the family, the grandchildren. I get this a lot, so I respond with my autopilot response of, “Yea, maybe - one day”. She continues searching deep into my eyes the way she always does and says, “Two children for you, one boy and one girl, I have seen it.”  I hope that when the day comes, I will be sending her pictures of this possibly right or wrong prediction.

One week left before school starts and two weeks until all my friends and I get back together for a weekend at Lake Sevan. This past week I downloaded the most absurd mixture of songs from 1995. I cannot wait to bump ‘This Is How We Do It” with an Armenian backdrop and a bunch of weirdos from America. 

I am going to start a new tradition. Just like back home, but maybe more so, my friends and I have catalog of absurd quotes that we recite to one another. Most of them are going to be completely out of context and misunderstood. But for my PC friends and maybe your entertainment too, I am going to start ending my posts with hilarious quotes. Thank your for your attention.

“I have been there on my personal vehicle several times, it is okay…” Vahagn