For a while there I was thinking about leaving on a daily basis in a kind of cyclical manic-depressive-escapism way. (Don't care if that actually made sense). It wasn't good for me but I can't really say I'd been in a great place. Luckily though, I was not alone in my apathetic despondency. Depression this winter was at the very least less manic than last winter but just as affecting. Instead of feeling totally out of my head I just felt low... really, really low.
In general, my lack of writing on this blog is directly related to those feelings of depression. Not to say it came and never went away but when it left there was nothing much to say. Not only that, but I haven't been so closed in a long time. I wasn't writing because the things going on in my head weren't truly appropriate for this blog. Ultimately, I do answer to Peace Corps with what I say here and for good, understandable reasons. What I write can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted and those two things are opposite of the Peace Corps 10 Commandments ( or 'Core Expectations'). Yet, I'm lucky to have friends both in and out of Peace Corps I can share my uncensored thoughts with, without harming my community or Armenia.
It's kind of crazy to think that the last time I blogged was before I even decided to book my plane ticket to Milan. When things got sticky in the fall I became totally focused on life after Peace Corps and was trying my hardest to get approval to leave a little early to attend a specific Yoga Teacher Training I had discovered in the Himalayan mountains. It took a while to find the one I was looking for, then there was some negotiating and around the time of my last blog post I was notified that my request had been once and for all officially declined. In retrospect it was good timing as the holidays were coming up and I had no choice but to forget about all that for a little while.
This year I hosted Christmas for some close friends of mine. I enjoyed picking out a fake tree and decorating the house with some help. I did not enjoy when my pipes froze two days before Christmas, after the casual Christmas party ( that no one came to because it was freezing and we were all broke (( or so I tell myself)) and two days before actual Christmas. I am very grateful for the friends I do have though, as they helped to hold me and the holiday all together. Everyone was so good lending helping hands with fetching water, cooking, stoking the fire, gathering the fire wood, dealing with poo mountain and most of all keeping spirits relaxed and positive. Frank was even enjoying our company by the end of the four day affair.
It was the day after Christmas that I impulsively bought a ticket to visit my friend Caitlin in Italy. I had been holding on to a voucher from AirFrance that was about to expire and instead of looking into trips BLAHBLAHBLAH I simply booked my ticket and then notified my friend - because I've known her since Pre-K and BOOM, moves like that are totally okay! A few days later I traveled to Yerevan to meet with other volunteers and celebrate the New Year. I had a really amazing night, dancing with my friend David only how David and I can dance. My friend Chris came back to Malishka with me on the 2nd for a few nights. One night we almost died of smoke suffocation from my wood stove but HEY, we didn't and that's what counts. I also visited my host family for a very low-key 'Nor Tari' (New Year) celebration.
My lowest was after all of this. The sun had not shone in about two weeks and the temperature was staying between 0 and 15 degrees Fahrenheit. It was in that time I just felt empty, bored and despondent. I didn't have school and I didn't really have anywhere to be. I started writing in my 'ledger' at this point, a gift from a friend. The ledger is a daily account of my life's happenings. At first it was just about giving myself something to do and then it sort of took on a life of its own. Luckily, I soon discovered Beyonce's new album and I again had purpose in my life- to writhe around my living room as though I was the sexy goddess that Beyonce is. This helped to lift my spirits immensely until school started up again. I knew that all I had to do was to get through two weeks of school and then it was vacation time!
Not to forget January's 'Great Pet Caravan to Yerevan' where myself and Frank, two puppies, two kittens and two other volunteers gathered in a taxi to head to the veterinarian in Yerevan. Frank made me so proud on this day, so much so that when giving his name for his kitty passport (so that he can come home with me in July) I went with 'Francis Scott'. No, not after Francis Scott Key but F. Scott Fitzgerald. I have my friend Jenny to thank for that one. Either way it was an adventure and not nearly as stressful as I'd previously envisioned. After having that experience I feel confident about Frank's ability to travel to America!
Instead of writing another 11 paragraphs about Italy and how amazing and beautiful and sexy and comforting and invigorating and liberating and perfect it was in every single way I'll wrap up saying this: I'm going to make the rest of my days here count, savoring all the moments I have left. I'm going to try and keep my heart open, even when it hurts, especially when it hurts. I'm going to love Armenia and let it love me.
Showing posts with label Traveling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Traveling. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Nothing But The Water
I have seen
What man can do
When the evil lives inside of you
Many are the weak and the strong are few
but with water, we'll start anew
Won't you take me down
to the levy
take me down
to the stream
take me down
to the water
We're gonna wash our souls clean
Take me down
to the river
take me down
to the lake
Yes, we'll all go together
We're gonna do it for the good lord's sake
I have fallen so many times
for the devil's sweet cunning rhymes
this old world has brought me pain
but there's hope for me again
Won't you take me down
to the levy
take me down
to the stream
take me down
to the water
We're gonna wash our souls clean
Take me down
to the river
take me down
to the lake
Yes, we'll all go together
We're gonna do it for the good lord's sake
I've tried my hand at the Bible
tried my hand at prayer
but now nothin' but the water
is gonna bring my soul to bear
but now nothin' but the water
is gonna bring my soul
to bear.
Listen to "Nothing But the Water" by Grace Potter
Hello my beloved followers, secret stalkers, lovers and friends. Yet another month (two!!) has passed by without a posting by yours truly. Just recently I was telling my Aunt Therese that I suppose I've been feeling uninspired as of late; that it just feels like the same-old, same-old. While that's true to a certain degree, it's not the entire truth. Before I update ya'll on thangs I'd first like to explain why I posted these song lyrics.
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| Tsaghadzor |
About a month ago I had drafted this post, with these lyrics as you see them. I had just returned from my final All Volunteer conference in Tsaghadzor. The conference was scheduled over Halloween weekend so volunteers wanted to enjoy their time in the evening and this year a talent show was organized. For anyone who has known me for any length of time they will know how much I love performing for people, or no one at all it doesn't actually matter. Anyway, I never got around to officially signing up before the conference but I was in luck as not too many others had as well and the MC's opened up the floor for whomever felt inspired. I of course, could not pass down this opportunity. I hadn't prepared anything so I decided to sing the first song that came into my head. I also was inspired my friend Phi's performance (which you can watch here). The song carries a lot of meaning for her and while she was singing, the only song that felt appropriate to follow up with was 'Nothing But The Water' by Grace Potter. I strongly identify with this song and most of my family members and friends have already been forced to listen to it as I find it so powerful; but for those of you who have not please have a listen into the deep recesses of my psyche.
It feels a bit overwhelming to try and recount in great detail the goings-on of the last few months. There was some drama with my counterparts at the school but that situation was resolved and things are back to their usual one part gratifying, two parts frustrating normalcy. Things that frustrate me at school are the general culture and atmosphere at the school. It's also frustrating that these things are still frustrating. One wants to believe that after being in a place for 20 months that they would become accustomed to attitudes and behaviors but I suppose some things are just immutable.
I believe I mentioned previously that I was given a teenage kitty by my host father back in the middle of October. At first he was very scared and spent most of his time hiding under the bed or staying within five feet of my person. Now, 1.5 months later he insists on being held in some form or fashion at all moments of the day that I am not moving around (and sometimes even when I'm moving around.) It's heart warming to have this little animal be so obsessed with me. My favorite part about living with Frank is that each evening and morning he will crawl into the covers of my bed and curl up under my chin into my neck. I've had many cats in my life, but none that I've raised on my own and I've definitely turned him into the ultimate lover cuddle kitty. I like to complain about it to my friends but they all know how much I love it.
Once again this year I celebrated Thanksgiving in the southern most part of the country, Meghri. Last year we were at Tall Tom's place in a nearby village but this year my good friend David hosted us in his most energetically positive home. (Check out how close we were to the Iranian border here!) This Thanksgiving was quite possibly one of the most enjoyable in recent memory. David and Jessica planned a two day extravaganza of crafting and cooking. I was happy to arrive in Meghri a day early to have David and his house all to myself. I am not so sure that Frank agrees with this sentiment but I was sure to save him a kitty treat to serve him once returning from my four day vacation.
About a week ago my wood stove was finally installed. At the beginning of November my site-mate Elisabeth and I had purchased a total of six cubic meters of wood together. Her half was sent over to her nearby village of Shatin while the rest remained with me. At the time, I was still comfortable enough to have only my space heater on. Yet, just as in most of American right now- the last two weeks have been pretty chilly and snowy. I love having my wood stove but GOOD LORD is it a lot of work. I'm lucky enough to be familiar with starting fires in my parent's wood stove back in New York but I am working with the 1990 Toyota of a wood stove while they have a 2013 Cadillac. I am hoping that I will eventually get over the difference and learn to simply enjoy the fact that for the most part I am toasty and warm.
In other news, volunteers recently had a gathering in Yerevan to celebrate Christmas before folks started heading home for the holidays. It's incredible to me that this time last year I was at home, hanging out in my parent's hot tub imbibing all the best chilled white wines I could lay my hands on. I can NOT believe that was already one year ago. Throughout my time in Armenia it has never ceased to surprise me how fast time moves.
Anyway, the day after the party my other site-mate Rosie and I decided to travel back home together. Typically this drive takes about 2.5 hours and it takes around 30 minutes to get from the center of Yerevan to our bus stop. On my way over to the bus station it had been raining but by the time the marshutni (pictured left) departed there were already big fat snow flakes coming down at a good rate. I looked at Rosie saying, "It's going to be a long ride today." Little did I know that the particular marshutni we were seated in was in no way equipped to handle the weather conditions. The only reason we made it over the mountain was because after four hours a good samaritan in an Army Jeep towed us with a thick metal chain. The entire experience was at once exhausting, terrifying, hilarious and absurd. After 8 hours of traveling, I finally hopped off at the side of the road outside Malishka. Then I peed my pants, then once I got home I realized the power was out in the whole neighborhood, AND THEN I realized I had locked Frank's food and water in a separate room, explaining his erratic and disconcerting behavior upon my arrival home. Now, one might expect to cry in this situation out of frustration. I was in surivival mood though, making sure to change my pants, feed the cat and start a fire in the dark. Thank god for trusty flashlights! Just another day in Armenia, folks! You can read a more detailed account of our journey, written by Rosie here.
In other news: The latest winter fashion in Armenia is the classic peacoat. Half of the female teachers in school have recently purchased one and I'm glad to know that my trusty old grey guy has suddenly become fashionable once again. It's nice to wear something right once in a while.
Next On Carolyn's Blog: Christmas is Ruined!... It was a Christmas Miracle!!!
Shows I've been obsessively watching: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Mob Wives and The Daily Show
A book I read: My Name Is Red by Orhan Pamuk
A Song I've been listening to: TKO Justin Timberlake
A quote: "I GOT YOUR DAD!!!!"
It feels a bit overwhelming to try and recount in great detail the goings-on of the last few months. There was some drama with my counterparts at the school but that situation was resolved and things are back to their usual one part gratifying, two parts frustrating normalcy. Things that frustrate me at school are the general culture and atmosphere at the school. It's also frustrating that these things are still frustrating. One wants to believe that after being in a place for 20 months that they would become accustomed to attitudes and behaviors but I suppose some things are just immutable.
 |
| Frank in his spot. |
 |
| Thanksgiving crew |
 |
| My metro stop |
About a week ago my wood stove was finally installed. At the beginning of November my site-mate Elisabeth and I had purchased a total of six cubic meters of wood together. Her half was sent over to her nearby village of Shatin while the rest remained with me. At the time, I was still comfortable enough to have only my space heater on. Yet, just as in most of American right now- the last two weeks have been pretty chilly and snowy. I love having my wood stove but GOOD LORD is it a lot of work. I'm lucky enough to be familiar with starting fires in my parent's wood stove back in New York but I am working with the 1990 Toyota of a wood stove while they have a 2013 Cadillac. I am hoping that I will eventually get over the difference and learn to simply enjoy the fact that for the most part I am toasty and warm.
 |
| Marshutni ( in summer) |
In other news, volunteers recently had a gathering in Yerevan to celebrate Christmas before folks started heading home for the holidays. It's incredible to me that this time last year I was at home, hanging out in my parent's hot tub imbibing all the best chilled white wines I could lay my hands on. I can NOT believe that was already one year ago. Throughout my time in Armenia it has never ceased to surprise me how fast time moves.
 |
| A bad decision |
 |
| Saying goodbye to my dear friend, Marisa, a volunteer who ended her service early. |
In other news: The latest winter fashion in Armenia is the classic peacoat. Half of the female teachers in school have recently purchased one and I'm glad to know that my trusty old grey guy has suddenly become fashionable once again. It's nice to wear something right once in a while.
Next On Carolyn's Blog: Christmas is Ruined!... It was a Christmas Miracle!!!
Shows I've been obsessively watching: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Mob Wives and The Daily Show
A book I read: My Name Is Red by Orhan Pamuk
A Song I've been listening to: TKO Justin Timberlake
A quote: "I GOT YOUR DAD!!!!"
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
"Welcome Home! Btw, you need to move..."
Dearest Babies, Lovas and Friends,
It's been so long since we last spoke! I know Ari had her guest spot, but I have not sat down to share with you a tale or two in a over a month. I haven't taken this long of a hiatus in I don't know how long! You must forgive me as I was busy giving Ari the good 'ole Hayastani tour, then frolicking in the land of gold and honey, THEN some very unexpected housing upheavals. I have been trying to find the time/energy/will to write you all since I have been back but alas, it only came to pass now.
So, perhaps you are such an avid reader that I need not remind you of what was going on at the start of August but I fear the truth of the greater majority is that you do not have any clue nor do you care. Alas, a quick recap is needed. At the start of August I was wrapping up the grant completion report for this past National Poetry Recitation Contest and gathering together a team of volunteers to create a committee for the 2014 installment. Unfortunately, about two weeks after the first committee meeting the team lost its most valuable player as she decided to end her service early. Luckily, I have been able to keep the ball rolling without her, even though it just isn't quite the same. Expect more about the 2014 National Poetry Recitation Contest soon!
My time with Ari in the last two weeks of August was absolutely marvelous. It engendered a completely new lens through which I am currently viewing my service. While there are difficulties and challenges faced on a daily basis Armenia truly has a special place in my heart. From the comfort and love I share with my host family, to the beauty of the landscape, to the taxi drivers calling me their sister upon hearing my Armenian there was much I felt proud to show Ari. All these things and more began to take on a new shade of meaning. The thing I appreciated most about Ari's trip was our on-going in-depth conversation about the culture here. We did many a thing, met many a volunteer and spent our final night together on the green patch of grass in Yerevan until 2 a.m. waiting for out flight times.
On the morning of August 28th both Ari and I boarded flights back to JFK airport. Unfortanutely, our flights were booked about four months apart and we did not have the same itinerary. After a day of time travel I arrived in my beloved NY and was picked up by dear friend Meagan. The first thought I had upon exiting the baggage terminal was, "UGH, the freaking humidity!". I had truly forgotten the oppressive nature of late August heat in New York. Without hesitation Meagan and I headed over to the most reasonable sushi joint in Babylon. I thought I'd be a pal and take care of the check as she'd driven all the way out to pick me up. Good lord! America, can we please relax with the cost of a dinner out?! Jeez louise. In the morning I was very grateful to spend time with my other dear friend Kaitlin. In the bagel shop I exclaimed, "OMG, KAIT! LOOK! THEY HAVE ARIZONA ICED TEA IN HERE!!!!!", all the other normal Americans in the place looked at me like I was on drugs. I think I embarrassed Kaitlin a bit but after a lifetime of friendship this is merely something she has come to expect.
Lord, I could tell you every last detail of my trip home but it would truly take too long and I don't want to waste either of our time. The highlights of my vacation were as such : a most perfect beach day on Lake George swimming with my niece Soleil; docking the boat before a storm like a champ; gurlfrands and brothers camping; a night cap at The Point with MK and 'firsty'; a most perfect beach day on Long Island with Regina; mani pedis with Momma; a night out in Babylon full of ridiculousness; yet another beautiful day riding the Cross Island ferry to CT; good times with cousins; a tasty meal with brother Andrew and sister Tess; kitty snuggle fest; motorcycle rides in the night and day; last meal in America with seriously tasty mussels; the royal treatment to end it all perfectly. Whew, feels good to finally get that all out there. In all honesty, it was the perfect trip home and I am so glad I made the decision to do it.
After waking up for my connecting flight in the Paris airport with 30 seconds before the intended departure time, I safely arrived in Armenia. I headed over to my friend Ashley's apartment in a small village which sits directly outside Yerevan. The next morning my host father Samvell called me. I thought it was a kind 'Hey- welcome back!' but I shortly realized his phone call was so prompt due to necessity. The family whose house I'd been living in was set to return to Malishka in approximately 5 days. He explained that I had that same amount of time to leave the house. I was on such a high from America that I floated through this process as in a dream. I felt no rush to return to a place that was no longer my home so I instead visited my friend Phi at her somewhat new place.
Five days later, my site-mate Elisabeth and I packed up the OBSCENE amount of shit I have gathered since being out on my own, then into Samvel's car and later his house. I have been living back with my host family since September 16th. There was a house which I fell in love with which wasn't approved about a week and a half ago. I don't want to remember the beautiful balcony there because it only makes me want to cry. Yet tomorrow I finally get to move into my new place. I will post pictures as soon as it's ready!
Songs Of The Month: Sara Lov - Frankie
The XX - Stars
It's been so long since we last spoke! I know Ari had her guest spot, but I have not sat down to share with you a tale or two in a over a month. I haven't taken this long of a hiatus in I don't know how long! You must forgive me as I was busy giving Ari the good 'ole Hayastani tour, then frolicking in the land of gold and honey, THEN some very unexpected housing upheavals. I have been trying to find the time/energy/will to write you all since I have been back but alas, it only came to pass now.
So, perhaps you are such an avid reader that I need not remind you of what was going on at the start of August but I fear the truth of the greater majority is that you do not have any clue nor do you care. Alas, a quick recap is needed. At the start of August I was wrapping up the grant completion report for this past National Poetry Recitation Contest and gathering together a team of volunteers to create a committee for the 2014 installment. Unfortunately, about two weeks after the first committee meeting the team lost its most valuable player as she decided to end her service early. Luckily, I have been able to keep the ball rolling without her, even though it just isn't quite the same. Expect more about the 2014 National Poetry Recitation Contest soon!
My time with Ari in the last two weeks of August was absolutely marvelous. It engendered a completely new lens through which I am currently viewing my service. While there are difficulties and challenges faced on a daily basis Armenia truly has a special place in my heart. From the comfort and love I share with my host family, to the beauty of the landscape, to the taxi drivers calling me their sister upon hearing my Armenian there was much I felt proud to show Ari. All these things and more began to take on a new shade of meaning. The thing I appreciated most about Ari's trip was our on-going in-depth conversation about the culture here. We did many a thing, met many a volunteer and spent our final night together on the green patch of grass in Yerevan until 2 a.m. waiting for out flight times.
On the morning of August 28th both Ari and I boarded flights back to JFK airport. Unfortanutely, our flights were booked about four months apart and we did not have the same itinerary. After a day of time travel I arrived in my beloved NY and was picked up by dear friend Meagan. The first thought I had upon exiting the baggage terminal was, "UGH, the freaking humidity!". I had truly forgotten the oppressive nature of late August heat in New York. Without hesitation Meagan and I headed over to the most reasonable sushi joint in Babylon. I thought I'd be a pal and take care of the check as she'd driven all the way out to pick me up. Good lord! America, can we please relax with the cost of a dinner out?! Jeez louise. In the morning I was very grateful to spend time with my other dear friend Kaitlin. In the bagel shop I exclaimed, "OMG, KAIT! LOOK! THEY HAVE ARIZONA ICED TEA IN HERE!!!!!", all the other normal Americans in the place looked at me like I was on drugs. I think I embarrassed Kaitlin a bit but after a lifetime of friendship this is merely something she has come to expect.
Lord, I could tell you every last detail of my trip home but it would truly take too long and I don't want to waste either of our time. The highlights of my vacation were as such : a most perfect beach day on Lake George swimming with my niece Soleil; docking the boat before a storm like a champ; gurlfrands and brothers camping; a night cap at The Point with MK and 'firsty'; a most perfect beach day on Long Island with Regina; mani pedis with Momma; a night out in Babylon full of ridiculousness; yet another beautiful day riding the Cross Island ferry to CT; good times with cousins; a tasty meal with brother Andrew and sister Tess; kitty snuggle fest; motorcycle rides in the night and day; last meal in America with seriously tasty mussels; the royal treatment to end it all perfectly. Whew, feels good to finally get that all out there. In all honesty, it was the perfect trip home and I am so glad I made the decision to do it.
After waking up for my connecting flight in the Paris airport with 30 seconds before the intended departure time, I safely arrived in Armenia. I headed over to my friend Ashley's apartment in a small village which sits directly outside Yerevan. The next morning my host father Samvell called me. I thought it was a kind 'Hey- welcome back!' but I shortly realized his phone call was so prompt due to necessity. The family whose house I'd been living in was set to return to Malishka in approximately 5 days. He explained that I had that same amount of time to leave the house. I was on such a high from America that I floated through this process as in a dream. I felt no rush to return to a place that was no longer my home so I instead visited my friend Phi at her somewhat new place.
Five days later, my site-mate Elisabeth and I packed up the OBSCENE amount of shit I have gathered since being out on my own, then into Samvel's car and later his house. I have been living back with my host family since September 16th. There was a house which I fell in love with which wasn't approved about a week and a half ago. I don't want to remember the beautiful balcony there because it only makes me want to cry. Yet tomorrow I finally get to move into my new place. I will post pictures as soon as it's ready!
Songs Of The Month: Sara Lov - Frankie
The XX - Stars
Monday, July 1, 2013
Border2Border Part II: Becoming A 'Family', The Decision To Stay
Part 2: Kapan to Sisian
On the 6th morning of our adventure, we set out for an expected hike approximately 30 kilometers out of Kapan. Due to some delays, it wasn't until noon time that we walked out of Kapan. As we were making our way out of the city I got an unexpected phone call from my father. It's unusual for him to call me at that time of day, so I became a little worried. My fear was soon met with expected sorrow, as I learned of a yet another family member's death. Since my arrival in Armenia last May a total of 5 people, with varying degrees of separation and blood connection, have gone from this world. While I was not close with the young woman who passed away, my father and her father are first cousins with a close relationship. Uncle Richie, as I know him - played a small role in offering help to get me through the medical portion of the application process. It's never easy to learn of someone else's sorrow and that day I spent a good portion of the trek alone, contemplating the oddities and non-coincidences in life.
This was one of our hottest walks, and I was seriously grateful that my pseudo-grandmother, Marisa, had made sure to fill my belly before I set out that morning. As a group we decided to take a long break on the side of the road in the only shade we could find. Everyone was profusely sweating, hot, tired and exhausted within our first break. We continued on, taking another long lunch break down by a river. At some point along the way, it became obvious that we had taken the wrong road. In Armenia, this is no small defeat. Our only choice was to continue walking to insure finding water as we were running dangerously low. Around 5pm, we convened outside of a small store in an even smaller village. Everyone was done for the day, and as a group we decided our only choice to get back on track was to take taxi cabs to the place we were supposed to be at the end of the walk that day.
We found a place that looked quasi-suitable and continued to walk another mile or two until finding our camp site for the evening. After setting up the tents, the boys promptly got to making a fire over which to grill our remaining vegetables. Soon after, thanks to Uncle Tender Breath (Kevin), the fire was burning strong. We had a lot of good laughs around the fire, while being eaten alive by the bugs. With not much sleep under our belts, we set out an hour later than expected at about 8 or 8:30pm for Tatev. This was by far my favorite walk throughout the whole trip. We had tree cover and soft dirt roads for the majority of the walk. Once out of this seeming forest, we came to a small town where our most valuable team member that day- Jesse found some children to figure which road we needed to be taking. A little ways outside of this village, we made the group decision to take naps during the heat of the day.
Afterwards, we continued the journey and soon began to see what we could only assume was Tatev off in the distance. With our destination in site, our bodies and minds began to prepare for rest. This can be a dangerous thing when you find that you don't actually know which road to take when it forks. People get cranky after walking all day, to feel that while the end is in site... there's no end in site. It was at this moment that I called my friend Brian Bokhart for some confirmation about where we were and where we were headed. He walked last year and alleviated our frustration and near hopelessness by assuring us that we were where we needed to be and would eventually reach our destination (though how much longer until than was unclear). Jesse again, sought out an Armenian to confirm the right way. It was here that we did some off-roading and took the path less beaten. All I will say is that basically no one was smiling as they entered Tatev.
Yet, once we had cold beers and fresh food in our bellies - we were all smiles and laughter. It was at this restaurant that a wide assortment of inside jokes were born. We became our little family; with Uncles Cool Jesse and Tender Breath, the Irish Twins, the Middle Sister, and the Big/Little Sister. Apparently, we don't have parents. We were even more elated to be informed that it was no problem that we sleep on the grounds of the Tatev Monastery, one of the most important monument/tourist attractions in the country. That night, I fell asleep under a star saturated sky. In the morning we taught at the local school. Afterwards we bought some goods from the vendors and loaded the longest cable car in the world. The trip itself lasts around 12 minutes. We got to see the road we were avoiding walking, and an abandoned monastery that had been totally taken over by various greens. The walk to our next generation was very short and along the way, the group was met by some very enthusiastic Armenians that wanted a picture with us. (Because of a perhaps somber mood, I was not with everyone when this occurred but watched with entertainment at the event from down the road). We arrived in our teammate Branwen's village of Shinohayer sometime in the afternoon. The group promptly split up to pick up goods for dinner.
That evening our final team member, Meewa, joined us at Branwen's apartment. She was meant to be my replacement, as I had intended to finish my stint with the group at the next location, in Goris. It was in Shinohayer that I began to seriously consider staying. The team was so bonded and I had nothing except free time waiting for me back in Malishka. I knew that our most strenuous walk was coming up right after Goris. Also, the fact that I could lay low during teaching days now that Meewa had replaced me was also pretty appealing. With this in mind, we went over to Branwen's school in the late morning to teach the kids. Afterwards, we went back to her place for more time. That night I spoke to my family for the first time since being on the trip. It was then that I realized I wanted to stay on with the team. I was really enjoying my time with everyone and felt like I was quitting before the big game. I am a team player until the end.
The next morning we set out early for Goris, expecting a much longer walk than the one that was had. I checked in with our team captain and my sitemate, Lauren, about staying on with the group. I consulted everyone else on the team, making sure that I was still welcome. Knowing me and my big personality - I wanted to make sure that no one was sick of me yet, before inviting myself to continue on. Luckily, they claimed not to be and so it was settled - I was going to stay on for three extra days. This way, I have four days to prepare for the teams arrival in Malishka.
That afternoon we arrived in Goris. It was decided that the schedule would be changed and we would only be in town for one night, not two. We taught that same afternoon, and slept in the teacher's lounge that evening. Everyone was mentally preparing for the 27 kilometer walk that we had ahead of us. Unfortunately that night I didn't sleep very well - which I suppose is true for the majority of the trip. In particular though, I remember this night. It was rather inconvenient. At 6am, the taxis which would take all but two packs arrived at the school. By 6:45am we were out the door, hoping to hack off a good chunk of the walk before the heat of the day.
That day we walked ten hours in the blistering sun. I got a sun rash on my arms and legs, that faded over night but was uncomfortable. During the walk, we ran into a small grandmother who offered us cold water and coffee. It turned out that she was one of Lauren's University student's grandmother. At this point, we were a solid 3 hour ride from the University where Lauren works. It was a nice coincidence, a moment along the road that breaks things up and helps you keep going. Another nice breaking up of the walk occurred when we ran into a large cattle of sheep, their herders, horses and large cattle dogs. We walked with them for some time and then eventually sat down for a lunch break. A little while later, that herd and ran into one another around us. One herd on the the road, the other to our backs in the field. The dogs were going absolutely nuts, the sheep where bah-ing their damn heads off and as if on cue an convoy of army trucks filled with soldiers drove past, blaring their horns at the herd. Once this scene out of a bad movie passed, we all promptly fell asleep on the side of road, under the hot sun.
By the time we made it outside of Sisian, I was lasting on pure will power alone. I was in some sort of yogic trance for the last hour as I focused on lengthening my spine and rolling back my shoulders. I was concentrating on my gait as if my life depended upon, because if I thought about how hot, thirsty and achey I was, I knew I was done for the day. Finally, the team made it to the Basen Hotel in Sisian. There we took pictures of our disgusting feet, had the best tasting meal in days and went to sleep shortly thereafter. For the first time since Kapan, I was able to lounge both during and after my shower in a state of utter exhaustion.
The next day we had our very first rest day with no walking or teaching on the agenda. We took advantage of this state of affairs and headed to a nearby lake with our favorite game, Bananagrams, some cold beverages and good humor. We hung out for the afternoon, swimming, trying to fix our horrid tan lines and playing the game. That evening everyone did their own thing, with Meg and Lauren back at Lauren's place and Kevin and I grabbing a hot dinner at a nearby restaurant. The next morning we taught at School No. 3 in Sisian, with a relatively good turnout thanks to Lauren, Meg and Meg's friend Hasmik. That evening I made dinner for the gang at Meg's and we headed back to the hotel. In the morning, I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to everyone as the taxi came even earlier than the planned 8am arrival. With an empty stomach and a craving for coffee, I left the team behind to carry on their merry way.
I admit, the silence and sudden lack of movement in the day was not an easy adjustment. I slept for most of the afternoon, checked some emails and sent a text or two to the team to see how they were doing. I missed them and almost wished I was still with them, except for the great calm that had come over me since returning back into my little oasis. Little did I know that our eventual reunion was short coming...
On the 6th morning of our adventure, we set out for an expected hike approximately 30 kilometers out of Kapan. Due to some delays, it wasn't until noon time that we walked out of Kapan. As we were making our way out of the city I got an unexpected phone call from my father. It's unusual for him to call me at that time of day, so I became a little worried. My fear was soon met with expected sorrow, as I learned of a yet another family member's death. Since my arrival in Armenia last May a total of 5 people, with varying degrees of separation and blood connection, have gone from this world. While I was not close with the young woman who passed away, my father and her father are first cousins with a close relationship. Uncle Richie, as I know him - played a small role in offering help to get me through the medical portion of the application process. It's never easy to learn of someone else's sorrow and that day I spent a good portion of the trek alone, contemplating the oddities and non-coincidences in life.
This was one of our hottest walks, and I was seriously grateful that my pseudo-grandmother, Marisa, had made sure to fill my belly before I set out that morning. As a group we decided to take a long break on the side of the road in the only shade we could find. Everyone was profusely sweating, hot, tired and exhausted within our first break. We continued on, taking another long lunch break down by a river. At some point along the way, it became obvious that we had taken the wrong road. In Armenia, this is no small defeat. Our only choice was to continue walking to insure finding water as we were running dangerously low. Around 5pm, we convened outside of a small store in an even smaller village. Everyone was done for the day, and as a group we decided our only choice to get back on track was to take taxi cabs to the place we were supposed to be at the end of the walk that day.
We found a place that looked quasi-suitable and continued to walk another mile or two until finding our camp site for the evening. After setting up the tents, the boys promptly got to making a fire over which to grill our remaining vegetables. Soon after, thanks to Uncle Tender Breath (Kevin), the fire was burning strong. We had a lot of good laughs around the fire, while being eaten alive by the bugs. With not much sleep under our belts, we set out an hour later than expected at about 8 or 8:30pm for Tatev. This was by far my favorite walk throughout the whole trip. We had tree cover and soft dirt roads for the majority of the walk. Once out of this seeming forest, we came to a small town where our most valuable team member that day- Jesse found some children to figure which road we needed to be taking. A little ways outside of this village, we made the group decision to take naps during the heat of the day.
Afterwards, we continued the journey and soon began to see what we could only assume was Tatev off in the distance. With our destination in site, our bodies and minds began to prepare for rest. This can be a dangerous thing when you find that you don't actually know which road to take when it forks. People get cranky after walking all day, to feel that while the end is in site... there's no end in site. It was at this moment that I called my friend Brian Bokhart for some confirmation about where we were and where we were headed. He walked last year and alleviated our frustration and near hopelessness by assuring us that we were where we needed to be and would eventually reach our destination (though how much longer until than was unclear). Jesse again, sought out an Armenian to confirm the right way. It was here that we did some off-roading and took the path less beaten. All I will say is that basically no one was smiling as they entered Tatev.
Yet, once we had cold beers and fresh food in our bellies - we were all smiles and laughter. It was at this restaurant that a wide assortment of inside jokes were born. We became our little family; with Uncles Cool Jesse and Tender Breath, the Irish Twins, the Middle Sister, and the Big/Little Sister. Apparently, we don't have parents. We were even more elated to be informed that it was no problem that we sleep on the grounds of the Tatev Monastery, one of the most important monument/tourist attractions in the country. That night, I fell asleep under a star saturated sky. In the morning we taught at the local school. Afterwards we bought some goods from the vendors and loaded the longest cable car in the world. The trip itself lasts around 12 minutes. We got to see the road we were avoiding walking, and an abandoned monastery that had been totally taken over by various greens. The walk to our next generation was very short and along the way, the group was met by some very enthusiastic Armenians that wanted a picture with us. (Because of a perhaps somber mood, I was not with everyone when this occurred but watched with entertainment at the event from down the road). We arrived in our teammate Branwen's village of Shinohayer sometime in the afternoon. The group promptly split up to pick up goods for dinner.
That evening our final team member, Meewa, joined us at Branwen's apartment. She was meant to be my replacement, as I had intended to finish my stint with the group at the next location, in Goris. It was in Shinohayer that I began to seriously consider staying. The team was so bonded and I had nothing except free time waiting for me back in Malishka. I knew that our most strenuous walk was coming up right after Goris. Also, the fact that I could lay low during teaching days now that Meewa had replaced me was also pretty appealing. With this in mind, we went over to Branwen's school in the late morning to teach the kids. Afterwards, we went back to her place for more time. That night I spoke to my family for the first time since being on the trip. It was then that I realized I wanted to stay on with the team. I was really enjoying my time with everyone and felt like I was quitting before the big game. I am a team player until the end.
The next morning we set out early for Goris, expecting a much longer walk than the one that was had. I checked in with our team captain and my sitemate, Lauren, about staying on with the group. I consulted everyone else on the team, making sure that I was still welcome. Knowing me and my big personality - I wanted to make sure that no one was sick of me yet, before inviting myself to continue on. Luckily, they claimed not to be and so it was settled - I was going to stay on for three extra days. This way, I have four days to prepare for the teams arrival in Malishka.That afternoon we arrived in Goris. It was decided that the schedule would be changed and we would only be in town for one night, not two. We taught that same afternoon, and slept in the teacher's lounge that evening. Everyone was mentally preparing for the 27 kilometer walk that we had ahead of us. Unfortunately that night I didn't sleep very well - which I suppose is true for the majority of the trip. In particular though, I remember this night. It was rather inconvenient. At 6am, the taxis which would take all but two packs arrived at the school. By 6:45am we were out the door, hoping to hack off a good chunk of the walk before the heat of the day.
That day we walked ten hours in the blistering sun. I got a sun rash on my arms and legs, that faded over night but was uncomfortable. During the walk, we ran into a small grandmother who offered us cold water and coffee. It turned out that she was one of Lauren's University student's grandmother. At this point, we were a solid 3 hour ride from the University where Lauren works. It was a nice coincidence, a moment along the road that breaks things up and helps you keep going. Another nice breaking up of the walk occurred when we ran into a large cattle of sheep, their herders, horses and large cattle dogs. We walked with them for some time and then eventually sat down for a lunch break. A little while later, that herd and ran into one another around us. One herd on the the road, the other to our backs in the field. The dogs were going absolutely nuts, the sheep where bah-ing their damn heads off and as if on cue an convoy of army trucks filled with soldiers drove past, blaring their horns at the herd. Once this scene out of a bad movie passed, we all promptly fell asleep on the side of road, under the hot sun.
By the time we made it outside of Sisian, I was lasting on pure will power alone. I was in some sort of yogic trance for the last hour as I focused on lengthening my spine and rolling back my shoulders. I was concentrating on my gait as if my life depended upon, because if I thought about how hot, thirsty and achey I was, I knew I was done for the day. Finally, the team made it to the Basen Hotel in Sisian. There we took pictures of our disgusting feet, had the best tasting meal in days and went to sleep shortly thereafter. For the first time since Kapan, I was able to lounge both during and after my shower in a state of utter exhaustion.The next day we had our very first rest day with no walking or teaching on the agenda. We took advantage of this state of affairs and headed to a nearby lake with our favorite game, Bananagrams, some cold beverages and good humor. We hung out for the afternoon, swimming, trying to fix our horrid tan lines and playing the game. That evening everyone did their own thing, with Meg and Lauren back at Lauren's place and Kevin and I grabbing a hot dinner at a nearby restaurant. The next morning we taught at School No. 3 in Sisian, with a relatively good turnout thanks to Lauren, Meg and Meg's friend Hasmik. That evening I made dinner for the gang at Meg's and we headed back to the hotel. In the morning, I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to everyone as the taxi came even earlier than the planned 8am arrival. With an empty stomach and a craving for coffee, I left the team behind to carry on their merry way.
I admit, the silence and sudden lack of movement in the day was not an easy adjustment. I slept for most of the afternoon, checked some emails and sent a text or two to the team to see how they were doing. I missed them and almost wished I was still with them, except for the great calm that had come over me since returning back into my little oasis. Little did I know that our eventual reunion was short coming...
Border2Border Part I: Hitting The Road to Kapan
Note: Due to the fact that there is SO much to say, I have decided to split the post into three parts. This is the beginning.
Babies! Lovas! Oh, how I have missed thee! I must admit, most of you were not on my mind throughout the last month, as Border2Border literally took over my life. Although, there was one person on my mind the whole time. My walk was dedicated to my dear, life long friend Kaitlin. At the moment she is facing her own challenges with great strength and courage. Throughout the walk I was wearing the necklace that she made for me prior to leaving for Armenia. Every time that the I wanted to stop, that I thought I couldn't take another step, I reached for the beads around my neck and carried on. I made it through the walk and then some; I know she will do the same. I love you, babygirl.
So anyway, we last left off with me a mild nervous wreck, butterflies in stomach as I awaited the arrival of the girls. Together we rode six hours south, arriving in Meghri around dinner time. The car ride was beautiful and once in our final destination the temperature difference was apparent. It was as though we left late Spring and entered full blown Summer. My dear friend, David, was gracious enough to open his home up to my teammates and I. We were at his 'Summer House' for two nights preparing for the walk ahead. David participated in Border2Border as well, but walked in the North. We had our final showers, hot meals and rest before gearing up for the three week walk ahead of us. On the final evening in Meghri, my anxiety levels were at an uncomfortable level, so I did the right thing- and began my yoga practice. David's home has a second story balcony/porch that overlooks the mountainside, facing west. As the sun burned itself into evening, I flowed like I haven't in months. I feel it was David's existing energy in the house that facilitated such a practice. I love you too, babyboy.
Alright, there is one more shout-out to get through before I get to the walk itself. Next is my dear Aunt Therese. Before leaving for Armenia she took me out to a nice lunch and then insisted we shop around. She wanted me to pick out something that would without a doubt become handy. We entered this quaint, overcrowded shop full of pretty little hand made things. It took me all of 5 minutes to find the glass case of mahogany dyed leather bound journals, and all but 30 seconds to know which one I wanted.
On the morning of June 7th after a sleepless night, we set out for our first teaching site in Shvanidzor. Due to Iranian border restrictions we were unable to walk this length of the route. It was surreal driving along the fence that separates the two countries, as a place that was once only a name on the television became a mountain-scape before my eyes. Once in Shvanidzor, Tom Cyrs helped set us up with the school. Our first day of teaching was a great success and around noon we headed out with six students for the hike ahead.
For the next 6 hours we walked at a relatively steep incline for 17 kilometers (10 miles), heavy packs weighing us down. This walk was, at least for me, the most difficult of all. Most of the time I was with Meg and her dog Mia. At one point we felt totally alone and decided this was a good opportunity to play the screaming game. The point is to see who can yell the most powerfully. We were enjoying this challenge, until a group of roadside workers came scrambling along the road. They thought we were being murdered; we explained we were weird Americans playing a game. They then invited us to a 'chill' spot where we could rest and drink some water. We naively assumed it was a legitimate establishment, but it really just ended up being their truck and a blanket. We got our water bottles filled and got out of there.
Just at the point of exhaustion, we made it to our destination for the evening. We stayed in the 'dacha' (Russian for summer home), of a previous volunteer's family. A little old lady who lived up on a hill had been awaiting our arrival all day. She served us tea, bread and cheese before we all passed out for the evening around 8pm. The next morning we got an early start around 7:30. It wasn't until 3pm that the estimated 23 kilometers (14 miles) had been walked. The only problem was, we were in the middle of nowhere and not the village of Tsav. After everyone got a turn at the map, it was clear that we had been marked to the river Tsav, not the village. There were another 3 miles to go. Nobody was happy about this turn of events.
Once in Tsav, our spirits were lifted by the hospitality that awaited us there. We were welcomed by the Mayor and a woman associated with the school we would be teaching at the next day. The school's neighbor saw our arrival and decided to feed us. She brought us jarred sauce, fresh cheese, greens, mashed potatoes and bread. That night we slept on the floor of the school's gym. In the morning we woke to teach the kids. One little baby, Tigran, became my new best friend. This sweet little four year old hung out with me all day as I taught, took pictures and did whatever tasks needed doing.
After teaching, Kevin arranged for a bus to take us about 10 kilometers outside our next destination, the city of Kapan. During the downhill we kept focused on the cold beers, hot pizza and the showers that awaited us. There are three volunteers in the city, one of whom happens to be a close friend of mine. Marisa is the 65 year old version of me. She says what she wants, how she wants, and pulls no punches. What most people don't realize is that she is as authentic and loyal as it gets. Once she loves, you're in forever and stay that way. I am lucky enough to be one of those on the inner circle and got to have a nice bed all to myself while some of my other teammates remained on the floor with another volunteer. I practically collapsed onto her floor when I arrived at her apartment. While the first walk was the hardest, after this third day of strain my body knew it could shut down and sort of did so. It was close to 45 minutes until I could move myself to the bathroom for an hour long shower.
As we were leaving the school to head back towards Kapan, a woman and her two daughters invited us back to their house for lunch. This is very common in Armenian culture. They have this incredible ability to go from a normal average day, to the most amazing hosts you could imagine. They don't begrudge the lack of notice and take great pride in the hot food and strong drinks put on the table. We had a wonderful lunch with this family, and left with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of homemade. To say the least our spirits were soaring high on our way out of Kapan.
In my mind, this is part one of the trip. It is more vivd in my mind than the middle and took a lot more out of me physically than any other part. A huge thanks to David Corsar, Marisa Mitchell, Terrance Stevenson and Tom Cyrs for making it all possible. You guys are gems :)
Memorable Quotes:
"Your demon voice lacks a certain baritone."
"Himself."
"Bad Ju-Ju, man, bad ju-ju."
"I feel like I'm in a North Korean war camp with these goddamn rice balls."
"It's the husband, it's always the husband." (In regards to a marathon of SVU)
"Ok, I'm not talking for an hour."
"Nooooo, crazy-pants."
Songs Listened to Repeatedly While Walking:
"New York State Mind" Billy Joel
"Let Me Talk To You" Justin Timberlake
"Bad Romance" Lady Gaga
"Heads Will Roll" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Jigsaw Falling Into Place" Radiohead
Babies! Lovas! Oh, how I have missed thee! I must admit, most of you were not on my mind throughout the last month, as Border2Border literally took over my life. Although, there was one person on my mind the whole time. My walk was dedicated to my dear, life long friend Kaitlin. At the moment she is facing her own challenges with great strength and courage. Throughout the walk I was wearing the necklace that she made for me prior to leaving for Armenia. Every time that the I wanted to stop, that I thought I couldn't take another step, I reached for the beads around my neck and carried on. I made it through the walk and then some; I know she will do the same. I love you, babygirl.So anyway, we last left off with me a mild nervous wreck, butterflies in stomach as I awaited the arrival of the girls. Together we rode six hours south, arriving in Meghri around dinner time. The car ride was beautiful and once in our final destination the temperature difference was apparent. It was as though we left late Spring and entered full blown Summer. My dear friend, David, was gracious enough to open his home up to my teammates and I. We were at his 'Summer House' for two nights preparing for the walk ahead. David participated in Border2Border as well, but walked in the North. We had our final showers, hot meals and rest before gearing up for the three week walk ahead of us. On the final evening in Meghri, my anxiety levels were at an uncomfortable level, so I did the right thing- and began my yoga practice. David's home has a second story balcony/porch that overlooks the mountainside, facing west. As the sun burned itself into evening, I flowed like I haven't in months. I feel it was David's existing energy in the house that facilitated such a practice. I love you too, babyboy.
Alright, there is one more shout-out to get through before I get to the walk itself. Next is my dear Aunt Therese. Before leaving for Armenia she took me out to a nice lunch and then insisted we shop around. She wanted me to pick out something that would without a doubt become handy. We entered this quaint, overcrowded shop full of pretty little hand made things. It took me all of 5 minutes to find the glass case of mahogany dyed leather bound journals, and all but 30 seconds to know which one I wanted.
 |
| This little guy kept me sane throughout the walk. You're a doll Auntie Therese, I lover you! |
For the next 6 hours we walked at a relatively steep incline for 17 kilometers (10 miles), heavy packs weighing us down. This walk was, at least for me, the most difficult of all. Most of the time I was with Meg and her dog Mia. At one point we felt totally alone and decided this was a good opportunity to play the screaming game. The point is to see who can yell the most powerfully. We were enjoying this challenge, until a group of roadside workers came scrambling along the road. They thought we were being murdered; we explained we were weird Americans playing a game. They then invited us to a 'chill' spot where we could rest and drink some water. We naively assumed it was a legitimate establishment, but it really just ended up being their truck and a blanket. We got our water bottles filled and got out of there.Just at the point of exhaustion, we made it to our destination for the evening. We stayed in the 'dacha' (Russian for summer home), of a previous volunteer's family. A little old lady who lived up on a hill had been awaiting our arrival all day. She served us tea, bread and cheese before we all passed out for the evening around 8pm. The next morning we got an early start around 7:30. It wasn't until 3pm that the estimated 23 kilometers (14 miles) had been walked. The only problem was, we were in the middle of nowhere and not the village of Tsav. After everyone got a turn at the map, it was clear that we had been marked to the river Tsav, not the village. There were another 3 miles to go. Nobody was happy about this turn of events.
Once in Tsav, our spirits were lifted by the hospitality that awaited us there. We were welcomed by the Mayor and a woman associated with the school we would be teaching at the next day. The school's neighbor saw our arrival and decided to feed us. She brought us jarred sauce, fresh cheese, greens, mashed potatoes and bread. That night we slept on the floor of the school's gym. In the morning we woke to teach the kids. One little baby, Tigran, became my new best friend. This sweet little four year old hung out with me all day as I taught, took pictures and did whatever tasks needed doing.
After teaching, Kevin arranged for a bus to take us about 10 kilometers outside our next destination, the city of Kapan. During the downhill we kept focused on the cold beers, hot pizza and the showers that awaited us. There are three volunteers in the city, one of whom happens to be a close friend of mine. Marisa is the 65 year old version of me. She says what she wants, how she wants, and pulls no punches. What most people don't realize is that she is as authentic and loyal as it gets. Once she loves, you're in forever and stay that way. I am lucky enough to be one of those on the inner circle and got to have a nice bed all to myself while some of my other teammates remained on the floor with another volunteer. I practically collapsed onto her floor when I arrived at her apartment. While the first walk was the hardest, after this third day of strain my body knew it could shut down and sort of did so. It was close to 45 minutes until I could move myself to the bathroom for an hour long shower. 
The next day we taught in Kapan at the American Corners. After another night of luxury, we had a short walk to the nearby town of Syunik. There we were greeted by singing children, a traditionally braided bread with dipping salt, and our most hospitable director of all the sites combined. This man was jovial, charismatic, and welcoming. It was our biggest turnout yet, and the first time we got to do the environmental bottle project ( empty plastic bottles used to create plant pots).
As we were leaving the school to head back towards Kapan, a woman and her two daughters invited us back to their house for lunch. This is very common in Armenian culture. They have this incredible ability to go from a normal average day, to the most amazing hosts you could imagine. They don't begrudge the lack of notice and take great pride in the hot food and strong drinks put on the table. We had a wonderful lunch with this family, and left with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of homemade. To say the least our spirits were soaring high on our way out of Kapan. In my mind, this is part one of the trip. It is more vivd in my mind than the middle and took a lot more out of me physically than any other part. A huge thanks to David Corsar, Marisa Mitchell, Terrance Stevenson and Tom Cyrs for making it all possible. You guys are gems :)
Memorable Quotes:
"Your demon voice lacks a certain baritone."
"Himself."
"Bad Ju-Ju, man, bad ju-ju."
"I feel like I'm in a North Korean war camp with these goddamn rice balls."
"It's the husband, it's always the husband." (In regards to a marathon of SVU)
"Ok, I'm not talking for an hour."
"Nooooo, crazy-pants."
Songs Listened to Repeatedly While Walking:
"New York State Mind" Billy Joel
"Let Me Talk To You" Justin Timberlake
"Bad Romance" Lady Gaga
"Heads Will Roll" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Jigsaw Falling Into Place" Radiohead
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Border2Border
This morning I woke up at 6:30am to make sure I got those final last minute things done: Clean my water filter, throw out the garbage, wash all dishes, make the bed, eat breakfast and finish packing. Now, I have about 45 minutes until the taxi, with my two friends Lauren and Meg, will arrive at my doorstep. We have about a 10 hour ride ahead of us. Along the way, we are going to drop off teaching and promotion materials in the villages where we will stop and teach.
Tomorrow, we have the day to prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. On the morning of the 7th we will set out. I must admit that my physical and mental preparation has not been up to par (but don't tell my sitemate Lauren, who has managed this project and probably hates my lack of readiness). I have been worried about old injuries, and my all too embarrassing inability to quit smoking at the moment. I am hoping this trip will be a kick start. I seriously regret the first drags I ever took. I was a goner ever since that moment. Anyway, I will no doubt be feeling the affects of the smoke on my lungs during the trip. I know I will make it through, but it will definitely be difficult.
Yesterday, I was ever so fortunate to pick up the recently arrived package from my Mother containing many goodies and the all important sunscreen that I will be wearing. Now, I know you all know how I love my tans, BUT I DO WEAR SUNSCREEN, DANGIT! That being said, yesterday was also an inspiring day as I met a couple, their son and their adult friend from Slovenia. Their English was far better than their Russian, so I was able to help them (with the help of my other site mate Ed) get set up at a bed and breakfast, and lunch at our favorite local cafe. I really enjoy meeting people in this way. It's moments like these, sharing a beer with strangers that are so normal and understanding, just so damn human- that make me understand why a lot of folks get bit by the traveling bug. There is nothing that can match this experience. I can't say that I have been bit yet. I still yearn for the familiarity of home. I definitely see myself heading to new countries throughout my life. (Yet another reason to put off kids and the whole bit). Just one unexpected moment, that turned into an hour long conversation is so invigorating. Also, I'm pretty lucky in that English is THE international language. I have yet to meet a foreigner here in Armenia who was not close to fluent. BLOWS MY MIND EVERY TIME!
Alrighty then, I need to wrap up this post as the two cups of coffee and butterflies are making me feel insanely jittery, and like I am forgetting to do something! Wish me luck! I look forward to updating upon my return!
Quote of The Week: "170 kilometers, eh? Manageable, not so bad at all. Just pack light."
Tomorrow, we have the day to prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. On the morning of the 7th we will set out. I must admit that my physical and mental preparation has not been up to par (but don't tell my sitemate Lauren, who has managed this project and probably hates my lack of readiness). I have been worried about old injuries, and my all too embarrassing inability to quit smoking at the moment. I am hoping this trip will be a kick start. I seriously regret the first drags I ever took. I was a goner ever since that moment. Anyway, I will no doubt be feeling the affects of the smoke on my lungs during the trip. I know I will make it through, but it will definitely be difficult.
Yesterday, I was ever so fortunate to pick up the recently arrived package from my Mother containing many goodies and the all important sunscreen that I will be wearing. Now, I know you all know how I love my tans, BUT I DO WEAR SUNSCREEN, DANGIT! That being said, yesterday was also an inspiring day as I met a couple, their son and their adult friend from Slovenia. Their English was far better than their Russian, so I was able to help them (with the help of my other site mate Ed) get set up at a bed and breakfast, and lunch at our favorite local cafe. I really enjoy meeting people in this way. It's moments like these, sharing a beer with strangers that are so normal and understanding, just so damn human- that make me understand why a lot of folks get bit by the traveling bug. There is nothing that can match this experience. I can't say that I have been bit yet. I still yearn for the familiarity of home. I definitely see myself heading to new countries throughout my life. (Yet another reason to put off kids and the whole bit). Just one unexpected moment, that turned into an hour long conversation is so invigorating. Also, I'm pretty lucky in that English is THE international language. I have yet to meet a foreigner here in Armenia who was not close to fluent. BLOWS MY MIND EVERY TIME!
Alrighty then, I need to wrap up this post as the two cups of coffee and butterflies are making me feel insanely jittery, and like I am forgetting to do something! Wish me luck! I look forward to updating upon my return!
Quote of The Week: "170 kilometers, eh? Manageable, not so bad at all. Just pack light."
Saturday, June 1, 2013
1 Year Mark (...or... Mid-Service Crisis)
Last Saturday was the one year anniversary of my arrival in Armenia. Several friends posted something on Facebook, whether it was a shout out or a "I should have something to say but I don't" sort of post, most of us take a long (or brief) look over our shoulders that day. Quite honestly, I have completely forgotten how I felt on that particular day. I know that there were several days leading up to the 25th of May that I thought "I should be thinking about this", and then would worry about something else. There has been so much going on the in the last month, and upcoming in the month of June, that my thoughts are all over the place.
There are some things that I need to catch you all up on. Where did we leave off? Oh right, my birthday (which was exactly what it needed to be thanks to a few good friends and a quick but strong rain storm). During the month of May, school was not exactly in session. Every week there was one or two holidays, and some of them consecutive. I think I went to school a total of 10 times in the month of May (possibly less). I had the honor of creating some final exams, about which my counterpart was very excited to print out papers to all the children.
The weekend before the last week of school my dear friend Brian, held a 5k at his site. Several volunteers went down to support him. I travelled there on a marshutni (bus) with my site-mate and friend Lauren, our friend Meg and her new puppy Mia, as well as Meg's site-mate (and my friend) Branwen and my friend Phi's site-mate Kelsey. We went to the bus station early, and luckily got the last seats on the bus. We were chatting a bit before the bus left and more or less got told to shut up by another passenger. We then confirmed she had indeed shushed us, and continued talking. I was lucky enough to sit next to puppy Mia and she very cutely slept and nuzzled between Meg and I on the hour long ride. We were all staying at the Sport's School where Brian works, so it was like one big sleepover.
That night we ate and played some games. I got to play basketball for a little while, which brought back a lot of memories from my childhood. It inspired me to dream up a future bacherlorette weekend with my girlfriends from home that will include a game of 5v5. The next morning we all prepared to run the 5k, and helped the kids decorate their numbers. They were so excited to run, and most showed up close to two hours in advance. After the race, Meg, Mia, Lauren and I rushed back to the capitol to run some errands and wait for the arrival of my expected cats. Unfortunately, the volunteer who I was adopting them from did not manage to convince her Armenian friend to hand over the Mama cat, and arrived only with the son. This 1 year old was non too happy about the arrangement and cried for 90 minutes of our taxi ride back to site. Once home, I let him out of the cat carrier and promptly prepared food and a litter box in my kitchen. He promptly hid under the fridge. About three hours later, before bed I made sure that he was safely out from underneath the fridge and laid down for the night. Around 2am I awoke to relieve myself and went to check on Stringer Bell's status. After a few minutes of no response, I turned on the light for a better look. He was nowhere to be found! It was then that I noticed the petals from the flower on the windowsill scattered on the floor. Low and behold, he had pried open the window with his paws. Since the great escape, there have been two sightings of Stringer Bell. The first, by my neighbor and student Tigran, next me about a week ago. I called to him, but it seems he has chosen the life of a kitty on the run. Thus is life.
In Armenia there is the tradition of 'Last Bell' on the final day of school. It is treated as graduation for the seniors, but considered a communal holiday. I arrived to school around 9:30 and waited in teacher's lounge with my colleagues for the festivities to begin. Mother's of the 12th grade brought champagne, fruits and a large cake into the teacher's lounge. Then, all 15 of the seniors lined up inside the room and waited for the arrival and the Mayor and his sidekick. Both gave congratulatory speeches around 3 minutes long. Afterwards, we popped the bubbly and dug in. I must say that I really enjoy watching everyone during these events. I find it particularly entertaining taking notices of the similarities and differences in human behavior in different cultures. It tickles my fancy to realize that no matter where you are, someone will be sneaking extra drinks. About 15 minutes later, we all went down the the auditorium to watch the performance of the 12th graders. Each year, the students and their homeroom teacher do something different. Generally, it includes dancing and songs, as well as some comedy. I am really looking forward to next year's as I have closer relationships with some of the girls in that year, and their homeroom teacher is quite ... interesting.
Since the school year is over, I have been trying to prepare for a lazy summer. One afternoon was spent scything overgrown weeds in a section of my garden and setting up metal boxes to lay out and get a tan. I like this place a lot, because I feel hidden from everyone and can let a little more skin show. It's also soothing to listen to the constant chatter of various bird species occupying the trees. I also got to visit Brian one last time before he leaves the country in July. He invited me to lead a yoga class at the sport's school during his fitness class time. We got to spend some time at his Music School, where I sang like the raspy lounge singer I've always dreamed of becoming. This weekend, I helped my other sitemate, Elisabeth clean up and move out of her house for the summer. Her landlord is returning, and she won't have a place to live again until end of August / September. At the moment, she is homeless.
Whew!
In four days I will begin the Border2Border project with five other volunteers in the South of Armenia. Simultaneously, another group of 6 will begin in the North Region. Both groups will walk for twenty one days and meet up in the middle, which just so happens to also conveniently be my site! I chose to walk for only 10 days, and I am glad I made this decision. Not only for physical reasons, but because that is as many days as I can stand to be constantly surrounded by other people. Before we leave, I will finish up the grant report for the National Poetry Contest, and complete my VRF (Volunteer Reporting Form) which is required every quarter, and very much loathed by all volunteers.
In other news, I finally gave in and bought an electric beater to satisfy my high standard for chocolate chip cookies and other baked goods. I also picked up ice cube trays (yay, iced coffee!), a new neon green colander and a well over-due welcome mat. Also, my friend Phi and I have begun planning our COS (Close of Service) trip to India, Nepal and Tibet. I am so ecstatic about this adventure! And lastly, but by no means least, my brother and his girlfriend recently got engaged! They have asked me to officiate the wedding next late summer / early fall. I told them I would accept this offer if they allowed me to wear a crown during the ceremony. In the meantime, I have been spending a lot of time looking for the perfect dress.
Ok kiddos, that's all for me right now. I'm sorry my posts haven't been to enlightening or thought provoking these days. I swear, once B2B is done - I will once again begin pontificating.
Quotes Of The Month: "DUDE, you just ate my bad ju-ju nut!"
"And then I realized, I ...live...in...Armenia." (one year later)
Follow our Border2Border blog here: http://walkacrossarmenia.wordpress.com/
There are some things that I need to catch you all up on. Where did we leave off? Oh right, my birthday (which was exactly what it needed to be thanks to a few good friends and a quick but strong rain storm). During the month of May, school was not exactly in session. Every week there was one or two holidays, and some of them consecutive. I think I went to school a total of 10 times in the month of May (possibly less). I had the honor of creating some final exams, about which my counterpart was very excited to print out papers to all the children.
The weekend before the last week of school my dear friend Brian, held a 5k at his site. Several volunteers went down to support him. I travelled there on a marshutni (bus) with my site-mate and friend Lauren, our friend Meg and her new puppy Mia, as well as Meg's site-mate (and my friend) Branwen and my friend Phi's site-mate Kelsey. We went to the bus station early, and luckily got the last seats on the bus. We were chatting a bit before the bus left and more or less got told to shut up by another passenger. We then confirmed she had indeed shushed us, and continued talking. I was lucky enough to sit next to puppy Mia and she very cutely slept and nuzzled between Meg and I on the hour long ride. We were all staying at the Sport's School where Brian works, so it was like one big sleepover.
That night we ate and played some games. I got to play basketball for a little while, which brought back a lot of memories from my childhood. It inspired me to dream up a future bacherlorette weekend with my girlfriends from home that will include a game of 5v5. The next morning we all prepared to run the 5k, and helped the kids decorate their numbers. They were so excited to run, and most showed up close to two hours in advance. After the race, Meg, Mia, Lauren and I rushed back to the capitol to run some errands and wait for the arrival of my expected cats. Unfortunately, the volunteer who I was adopting them from did not manage to convince her Armenian friend to hand over the Mama cat, and arrived only with the son. This 1 year old was non too happy about the arrangement and cried for 90 minutes of our taxi ride back to site. Once home, I let him out of the cat carrier and promptly prepared food and a litter box in my kitchen. He promptly hid under the fridge. About three hours later, before bed I made sure that he was safely out from underneath the fridge and laid down for the night. Around 2am I awoke to relieve myself and went to check on Stringer Bell's status. After a few minutes of no response, I turned on the light for a better look. He was nowhere to be found! It was then that I noticed the petals from the flower on the windowsill scattered on the floor. Low and behold, he had pried open the window with his paws. Since the great escape, there have been two sightings of Stringer Bell. The first, by my neighbor and student Tigran, next me about a week ago. I called to him, but it seems he has chosen the life of a kitty on the run. Thus is life.
In Armenia there is the tradition of 'Last Bell' on the final day of school. It is treated as graduation for the seniors, but considered a communal holiday. I arrived to school around 9:30 and waited in teacher's lounge with my colleagues for the festivities to begin. Mother's of the 12th grade brought champagne, fruits and a large cake into the teacher's lounge. Then, all 15 of the seniors lined up inside the room and waited for the arrival and the Mayor and his sidekick. Both gave congratulatory speeches around 3 minutes long. Afterwards, we popped the bubbly and dug in. I must say that I really enjoy watching everyone during these events. I find it particularly entertaining taking notices of the similarities and differences in human behavior in different cultures. It tickles my fancy to realize that no matter where you are, someone will be sneaking extra drinks. About 15 minutes later, we all went down the the auditorium to watch the performance of the 12th graders. Each year, the students and their homeroom teacher do something different. Generally, it includes dancing and songs, as well as some comedy. I am really looking forward to next year's as I have closer relationships with some of the girls in that year, and their homeroom teacher is quite ... interesting.
Since the school year is over, I have been trying to prepare for a lazy summer. One afternoon was spent scything overgrown weeds in a section of my garden and setting up metal boxes to lay out and get a tan. I like this place a lot, because I feel hidden from everyone and can let a little more skin show. It's also soothing to listen to the constant chatter of various bird species occupying the trees. I also got to visit Brian one last time before he leaves the country in July. He invited me to lead a yoga class at the sport's school during his fitness class time. We got to spend some time at his Music School, where I sang like the raspy lounge singer I've always dreamed of becoming. This weekend, I helped my other sitemate, Elisabeth clean up and move out of her house for the summer. Her landlord is returning, and she won't have a place to live again until end of August / September. At the moment, she is homeless.
Whew!
In four days I will begin the Border2Border project with five other volunteers in the South of Armenia. Simultaneously, another group of 6 will begin in the North Region. Both groups will walk for twenty one days and meet up in the middle, which just so happens to also conveniently be my site! I chose to walk for only 10 days, and I am glad I made this decision. Not only for physical reasons, but because that is as many days as I can stand to be constantly surrounded by other people. Before we leave, I will finish up the grant report for the National Poetry Contest, and complete my VRF (Volunteer Reporting Form) which is required every quarter, and very much loathed by all volunteers.
In other news, I finally gave in and bought an electric beater to satisfy my high standard for chocolate chip cookies and other baked goods. I also picked up ice cube trays (yay, iced coffee!), a new neon green colander and a well over-due welcome mat. Also, my friend Phi and I have begun planning our COS (Close of Service) trip to India, Nepal and Tibet. I am so ecstatic about this adventure! And lastly, but by no means least, my brother and his girlfriend recently got engaged! They have asked me to officiate the wedding next late summer / early fall. I told them I would accept this offer if they allowed me to wear a crown during the ceremony. In the meantime, I have been spending a lot of time looking for the perfect dress.
Ok kiddos, that's all for me right now. I'm sorry my posts haven't been to enlightening or thought provoking these days. I swear, once B2B is done - I will once again begin pontificating.
Quotes Of The Month: "DUDE, you just ate my bad ju-ju nut!"
"And then I realized, I ...live...in...Armenia." (one year later)
Follow our Border2Border blog here: http://walkacrossarmenia.wordpress.com/
Monday, January 28, 2013
What's In Your Head?
Today is Army Day in Armenia, so there is no school and banks, etc are closed. Over the weekend, I traveled to the capital to do some business, and also for our book club. This was the book club's first meeting, so I was looking forward to seeing how Peace Corps staff lives and also to have a relaxing evening.
Luckily, I was able to do just that the night of the book club. The Assistant Director of the country was hosting and some of us stayed the night at her place, as opposed to a hostel. When everyone was winding down, she told us of the jacuzzi bath located in the guest room. I made a swift move to be the first person indulging in such a luxury. She had epsom salt, lavendar essentials oils and the whole bit! I felt like I was home and it was truly wonderful. I am such a hedonist, that I took yet another 45 minute bath the next morning.
While I was living in Boston in the winter of 2011, and in the midst of the application process, I was fortunate enough to have a clawfoot tub located in the bathroom right off of my room. I would spend the majority of my weekend in there, singing on the top of my lungs, incense burning, drinking chilled white wine and what ever else. After one such occasion, I sauntered into the living room, probably still in my bathrobe, flushed in the face from the heat and plopped down onto the couch with an audible sigh of contentment. My roommate looked at me and teasingly asked, "How are you going to live without the bath tub Carolyn?" I didn't have an answer for him at the time; so we laughed together about the multitude of indulgences I would have to give up upon entering the Peace Corps.
I don't know if he reads this blog, but if he does I would say to him, "Nah Nah!" At this moment, there are three baths in this country with my name on them. One right in the town next to me (this is a new development), my friend Chris up North's, and now the most prized one of all that I must wait until the 1st weekend in March to lounge in once again.
In other news, I found out this weekend that young Armenians are really into The Cranberries, particularly the song 'Zombie'. That was probably the highlight (besides the bath) of my weekend. Also, the search is still on for a house - no luck yet. And nearly all of the snow has melted, its stayed between 40 and 50 degrees in the day! Fingers crossed that the winter stays this mild!
I miss all my babies at home, in particular the four year old.
Quote of the Week: "There are alotta weird things to think about in this country." Tommy Ransdell
Song of the Week: The Cranberries 'Linger'
Luckily, I was able to do just that the night of the book club. The Assistant Director of the country was hosting and some of us stayed the night at her place, as opposed to a hostel. When everyone was winding down, she told us of the jacuzzi bath located in the guest room. I made a swift move to be the first person indulging in such a luxury. She had epsom salt, lavendar essentials oils and the whole bit! I felt like I was home and it was truly wonderful. I am such a hedonist, that I took yet another 45 minute bath the next morning.
While I was living in Boston in the winter of 2011, and in the midst of the application process, I was fortunate enough to have a clawfoot tub located in the bathroom right off of my room. I would spend the majority of my weekend in there, singing on the top of my lungs, incense burning, drinking chilled white wine and what ever else. After one such occasion, I sauntered into the living room, probably still in my bathrobe, flushed in the face from the heat and plopped down onto the couch with an audible sigh of contentment. My roommate looked at me and teasingly asked, "How are you going to live without the bath tub Carolyn?" I didn't have an answer for him at the time; so we laughed together about the multitude of indulgences I would have to give up upon entering the Peace Corps.
I don't know if he reads this blog, but if he does I would say to him, "Nah Nah!" At this moment, there are three baths in this country with my name on them. One right in the town next to me (this is a new development), my friend Chris up North's, and now the most prized one of all that I must wait until the 1st weekend in March to lounge in once again.
In other news, I found out this weekend that young Armenians are really into The Cranberries, particularly the song 'Zombie'. That was probably the highlight (besides the bath) of my weekend. Also, the search is still on for a house - no luck yet. And nearly all of the snow has melted, its stayed between 40 and 50 degrees in the day! Fingers crossed that the winter stays this mild!
I miss all my babies at home, in particular the four year old.
Quote of the Week: "There are alotta weird things to think about in this country." Tommy Ransdell
Song of the Week: The Cranberries 'Linger'
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
I have been back in Armenia for approximately three weeks now and I'm finally feeling readjusted. Anyone close to me knows that I was having a seriously difficult time being back in my village, at host family's home. The word isolation doesn't do it justice. As a friend asked in his oh-so-blunt way this morning, "back to the grind of freedomless womanhood in armenia?".
Interestingly, the thing that helped me get back into the mindset was hitting the road and going to see friends. You might think that I was doing myself an injustice by only temporarily leaving my solitary confinement to eat good food and drink wine with friends. It may cross your mind that this, similarly to visiting America, would only lead to deeper feelings of depression, isolation, and general misery.
Yet, when I sat up in the middle of the 4th or 5th night in the village, because the insomnia was becoming too much and I wanted to write; the things that were written down and later remembered the next morning were a warning sign to me. I was likening the sense of dread deep in the pit of my belly to a seriously dark time in my life during college. That was when I knew I needed to leave. While I believe that working through tough times independently is an important component to healing / progress, there also is a strength in saying ' I need your help right now' - and that is precisely what I did.
First, I visited site mates in the nearby town and cried the moment I put my bags down. I told the girls of my time at home and all I was feeling since returning. They sat and listened supportively until I was finished. What a necessary reminder that there are people here, that are here with me in this, that they give a shit and I'm not alone! Once I knew school was canceled ( due to the cold) for yet another week, I gave my friend Brian a call. I view Brian as this gift from the heavens, a sweet man that finds my crassness hilarious, cuddles with me when I demand it, and bakes me cookies while I lay under a blanket watching Friends. That's real friendship, kids. Brian is also my favorite person alive because he invited me to go over to the music school that he is associated with to sing songs while he plays along on the piano. If you know me, you understand what a dream come true this man is for me... Sorry Auntie's if I got your hopes up, he unfortunately plays for the other team :)
After two nights of cold heaven, I went back into the capital to wait around for a taxi to go about four hours north to the town of Berd. It was my friend Christopher's 25th birthday weekend and I was damned if I wasn't going to make it up there! To my great surprise, it turns out that Chris has a working bathtub. Oh the joy, the shock of learning this upon my arrival!!! Not only that, but the weather was cooperating as well. Chris and I took a walk each day that I was there, enjoyed the beautiful daylight and scenery. We had long talks about "the meaning of it all" while sitting on an unfinished Soviet bridge, and then I ate shit on the mud/snow on the way back.
Even though my return travel was a real bitch (left Berd at 10am, arrived in Malishka at 9pm), I felt truly refreshed. There's something about being on the road for that long, even if you are cramped up against the door so you don't crush the wildly petite woman squeezed in next to you, that clears the mind. It reminded me that there is a lot about this country I love. It was also nice to taste freedom on my tongue, if only temporarily. Staying with friends who have places of their own got me planning all the things I want to do once I have the same. I don't know if I've ever started planning my birthday so early...
Song Of the Week: U2 "One"
Interestingly, the thing that helped me get back into the mindset was hitting the road and going to see friends. You might think that I was doing myself an injustice by only temporarily leaving my solitary confinement to eat good food and drink wine with friends. It may cross your mind that this, similarly to visiting America, would only lead to deeper feelings of depression, isolation, and general misery.
Yet, when I sat up in the middle of the 4th or 5th night in the village, because the insomnia was becoming too much and I wanted to write; the things that were written down and later remembered the next morning were a warning sign to me. I was likening the sense of dread deep in the pit of my belly to a seriously dark time in my life during college. That was when I knew I needed to leave. While I believe that working through tough times independently is an important component to healing / progress, there also is a strength in saying ' I need your help right now' - and that is precisely what I did.
First, I visited site mates in the nearby town and cried the moment I put my bags down. I told the girls of my time at home and all I was feeling since returning. They sat and listened supportively until I was finished. What a necessary reminder that there are people here, that are here with me in this, that they give a shit and I'm not alone! Once I knew school was canceled ( due to the cold) for yet another week, I gave my friend Brian a call. I view Brian as this gift from the heavens, a sweet man that finds my crassness hilarious, cuddles with me when I demand it, and bakes me cookies while I lay under a blanket watching Friends. That's real friendship, kids. Brian is also my favorite person alive because he invited me to go over to the music school that he is associated with to sing songs while he plays along on the piano. If you know me, you understand what a dream come true this man is for me... Sorry Auntie's if I got your hopes up, he unfortunately plays for the other team :)
After two nights of cold heaven, I went back into the capital to wait around for a taxi to go about four hours north to the town of Berd. It was my friend Christopher's 25th birthday weekend and I was damned if I wasn't going to make it up there! To my great surprise, it turns out that Chris has a working bathtub. Oh the joy, the shock of learning this upon my arrival!!! Not only that, but the weather was cooperating as well. Chris and I took a walk each day that I was there, enjoyed the beautiful daylight and scenery. We had long talks about "the meaning of it all" while sitting on an unfinished Soviet bridge, and then I ate shit on the mud/snow on the way back.
Even though my return travel was a real bitch (left Berd at 10am, arrived in Malishka at 9pm), I felt truly refreshed. There's something about being on the road for that long, even if you are cramped up against the door so you don't crush the wildly petite woman squeezed in next to you, that clears the mind. It reminded me that there is a lot about this country I love. It was also nice to taste freedom on my tongue, if only temporarily. Staying with friends who have places of their own got me planning all the things I want to do once I have the same. I don't know if I've ever started planning my birthday so early...
Song Of the Week: U2 "One"
Quote: "Stinks, stinks like shit!" - McGruber
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Mama, Mama I'm Coming Homeeee
Well, technically I already am. As I write this, Soleil is sitting next to me, complaining, "You talk in a different way." Once I started showing off my Armenian to her, every time I correct her English, she claims to not understand me. The title of this blogpost comes from an Ozzy Osbourne song that I often heard growing up, and was stuck in my head for all twenty hours of my travel time. Once I landed in New York - with no sleep since I was in Armenia - and saw an entire group of women standing around smoking, the song changed to "I'm in a New York State Of Mind" and also "AMERICA F-YEAH".
Then, I got in the car with my mother and headed over to my great aunt's wake. I was dirty and smelly, in the same clothes for the last couple of days. I wasn't expecting to be going straight there, but we needed to pick my father up. "Everyone's waiting for you," my mother explained. First things first, we stopped off at a pizza joint to grab a slice of some New York pizza. I felt compelled to tell the girl behind the counter that this would be my first slice of heaven in over six months and that she should feel honored.
Now, I want to give ya'll some back story on what awaited me at the funeral parlor. While Patricia Hennessy was a 'distant' relative, I've known her and most of her descendants my whole life. My grandmother, Patricia, and their brother all bought summer homes within the Huletts Landing community on Lake George in upstate New York, sometime in the 1970's. My grandmother and her brother Luke had eight children and Patricia had ten. A good majority of those twenty six cousins got married, had children of their own and are now grandparents. All in all, at the time of her death Patricia alone had around 35 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren. Throughout my life, I have spent two to three weeks at a time at Lake George in the summer, sometimes knowing who my third cousins were and sometimes not. Ironically, I did not find out until about five years ago that one of the cousins' whom I most strongly resemble, was in fact a family member. The families that have homes in Huletts are a sort of family in and of themselves, and I have the element of actually being related to a great number of those people.
What I'm trying to get at here, is that when I entered the funeral parlor - it was pretty overwhelming. Some people knew I was returning, others did not, but they all had a ton of questions. For just having traveled 20 hours, with no sleep - I think I handled it pretty well. The first twenty-four hours home in general were overwhelming, but not in the way that you are thinking. I was surprised at how easy it was to slip back into the life I left behind. I had no idea what to expect about returning- what it would feel like, if I would experience culture shock, etc. The next morning, as my brother and I were driving home from the burial he asked me what I saw. I didn't really understand the question, so I explained that it was easier to be home than expected. He pushed further, asking, "No- what are you seeing, right now look around - what do you see?". "Money," I replied. "Money, and people who have places to be, jobs and things to buy."
So, I've got three weeks left in America. I am already missing my Peace Corps family to death. In a way - I feel like I am in this weird time limbo. I was able to come back, and pick up where I left off - even go to the same yoga class. Back home, it feels as though time has stood still here in many ways and gone on in others. While for me, I have seen and experienced so much in the short six months since leaving home, that it's hard to resolve those two ideas. I don't really know where to begin. A few folks have asked me, "How was your trip?" At first, I found this a little insulting. Six months is a little more than a 'trip'. Armenia is my home now, that's where my life takes place currently. And yet, now - it does feel like a trip - in the slang definition. (ie: That show was a real trip, man.)
So. Yeah. Armenia's been a real trip.
... and I can't wait to get back!
Song of the Week: Grateful Dead - Truckin'
Quote of the Week: "If ya press this button hea, it gets one more hotta." TJ
Special thanks to the following for lending a helping hand during a difficult and trying time the week before I left Armenia: Phi Nyguen, Brian Bohkart, Chris Sherwood, Marisa Mitchell, Chris Boyle, Lauren Leary, David Lillie, David Corsar and of course, my super amazing host family.
Then, I got in the car with my mother and headed over to my great aunt's wake. I was dirty and smelly, in the same clothes for the last couple of days. I wasn't expecting to be going straight there, but we needed to pick my father up. "Everyone's waiting for you," my mother explained. First things first, we stopped off at a pizza joint to grab a slice of some New York pizza. I felt compelled to tell the girl behind the counter that this would be my first slice of heaven in over six months and that she should feel honored.
Now, I want to give ya'll some back story on what awaited me at the funeral parlor. While Patricia Hennessy was a 'distant' relative, I've known her and most of her descendants my whole life. My grandmother, Patricia, and their brother all bought summer homes within the Huletts Landing community on Lake George in upstate New York, sometime in the 1970's. My grandmother and her brother Luke had eight children and Patricia had ten. A good majority of those twenty six cousins got married, had children of their own and are now grandparents. All in all, at the time of her death Patricia alone had around 35 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren. Throughout my life, I have spent two to three weeks at a time at Lake George in the summer, sometimes knowing who my third cousins were and sometimes not. Ironically, I did not find out until about five years ago that one of the cousins' whom I most strongly resemble, was in fact a family member. The families that have homes in Huletts are a sort of family in and of themselves, and I have the element of actually being related to a great number of those people.
What I'm trying to get at here, is that when I entered the funeral parlor - it was pretty overwhelming. Some people knew I was returning, others did not, but they all had a ton of questions. For just having traveled 20 hours, with no sleep - I think I handled it pretty well. The first twenty-four hours home in general were overwhelming, but not in the way that you are thinking. I was surprised at how easy it was to slip back into the life I left behind. I had no idea what to expect about returning- what it would feel like, if I would experience culture shock, etc. The next morning, as my brother and I were driving home from the burial he asked me what I saw. I didn't really understand the question, so I explained that it was easier to be home than expected. He pushed further, asking, "No- what are you seeing, right now look around - what do you see?". "Money," I replied. "Money, and people who have places to be, jobs and things to buy."
So, I've got three weeks left in America. I am already missing my Peace Corps family to death. In a way - I feel like I am in this weird time limbo. I was able to come back, and pick up where I left off - even go to the same yoga class. Back home, it feels as though time has stood still here in many ways and gone on in others. While for me, I have seen and experienced so much in the short six months since leaving home, that it's hard to resolve those two ideas. I don't really know where to begin. A few folks have asked me, "How was your trip?" At first, I found this a little insulting. Six months is a little more than a 'trip'. Armenia is my home now, that's where my life takes place currently. And yet, now - it does feel like a trip - in the slang definition. (ie: That show was a real trip, man.)
So. Yeah. Armenia's been a real trip.
... and I can't wait to get back!
Song of the Week: Grateful Dead - Truckin'
Quote of the Week: "If ya press this button hea, it gets one more hotta." TJ
Special thanks to the following for lending a helping hand during a difficult and trying time the week before I left Armenia: Phi Nyguen, Brian Bohkart, Chris Sherwood, Marisa Mitchell, Chris Boyle, Lauren Leary, David Lillie, David Corsar and of course, my super amazing host family.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Reckoning
Don’t ever forget
the true source. It's location
what it looks and feels like
how it tastes. Though beauty
and magnificence are fleeting, their
origin is constant. Don't lose
what you know
to be true, to be real. Seek love
from those with their arms already extended,
you can not force open closed fists.
You can not will a thing.
Know this. Remember
you are the rock in the rushing river.
This past week, I was at a conference with the rest of the volunteers. The group I came here with in May ( A20s) all arrived together Tuesday evening. Then on Thursday, the group that came the year before (A19s), as well as the RPCVs, rolled in. The hotel we stayed at was the nicest one yet. It meets your average expectation of a Marriot. I was excited for everyone to be together again, if only to jot down all of the very ridiculous things that come out of people's mouths. I also was looking forward to facilitating my first TEFL session with one of my site mates, Lauren, and to teaching my first ever group yoga session! I was far more excited about the latter, as you may imagine.
I want to give you some back story on my relationship with yoga. For the last three years, we have been dating seriously and had been fooling around for maybe five years before then. In the beginning, I simply wasn't ready to be committed. This had to partly do with how we'd gotten together. Things started out pretty casually, I didn't take it seriously and found it to be unimportant in my life. Later, when I decided to get my act together my senior year of college, we took it to the next level. I began realizing that yoga gave me what I had been seeking out in all the wrong places, all the wrong people. The hours I spent with yoga started to become all I really needed. When I finally let yoga become a part of my routine, making time to be together and eventually being alone with yoga, taking it back home; well, that was when I understood the true nature of our relationship. My love for yoga is not jealous, it is kind, it is all those things people like to recite at weddings.
I am grateful for all the hours spent in the English classroom, because the jitters and stress of leading a group of people have nearly washed away completely. For my first class, I tried to be fancy and give a regimented Ashtanga Series A session. Everybody had really wonderful and encouraging responses, but I knew to some extent they were being kind. I didn't feel totally in the groove, so there's no way that they did. Later that evening, I experienced some jealousy, some anger and then later, total elation when I won. The evening came to a close with my friend David catching me repeating something I'd said earlier in the evening to my reflection in the window. In summary, there was a lot of dancing and good times, sliced with some hurt.
The next morning, when David came over at 7am for a private session, I explained that hopefully he wasn't seeking anything in particular, because I really needed to do my own thing and simply have him follow. He complied and we commenced our practice. There is nothing better than an early morning yoga session. I have always loved (but not always been so committed to) rolling out of bed and onto the yoga mat. That morning, Lauren and I kicked off the day with our TEFL session. We received a lot of positive feedback from both my Director and peers.
Somewhere in that day, lines from the above poem started coming to me. In the morning, before yoga, I felt I'd acted immature at some points in the night. That I'd digressed to a less evolved version of me, somewhere closer to my state of being during college. It's never a good feeling and it isn't the first time in-country that I've felt this way. Many of us joke about this state of affairs; that it feels like high school and we act like we're in college. The high school aspect comes with the cliques, the gossip, and other bullshit. The college part, is the sleeping around and the attitude that this isn't 'real life'. In an effort to cope, we lose ourselves completely and the aftermath (for the most part) it ain't pretty. I'm not alone in this feeling. Many of my friends are experiencing something similar. Maybe not so much with the social aspect, but for many of us - the parts of ourselves we wished to leave behind in coming here, have somehow escaped their cages. We are forced to confront them and it isn't easy. For me, it means seeking from people who simply are not capable of giving me what I need.
So, I digested these thoughts for a day or so, had some useful conversations and the next day, spit out the above poem during a Safety and Security presentation (...oops). The poem was also partly inspired by the sunrise I'd chased that morning. At the end of the day, I had another group yoga class and felt that I would be more in-tune with the classes needs if I practiced alongside them. The conference was over with and everybody just wanted to celebrate this, via relaxation. For me, coming back to what I know makes me feel whole and complete. My yoga practice has been, hands down, the most integral component of this experience. When I am on the mat, everything retreats: my insecurities, my fears, my doubts - all of it. I am left only with a relaxed body and a clear head. I feel sexy, empowered, energetic and fearless.
So yes, yoga is my most long term, serious relationship and I am certain we have a future together.
Album Of The Week: In Rainbows Radiohead
Quote Of The Week: After a long pause on the phone...
Soleil: "Carolyn?!" Me: "Yes?"
Soleil: "I ate dinner."
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