It's Official, I'm a PCV

75 days later and I am still here.

When I first left home, I told myself I would just try. I definitely had doubts and concerns about the decision to come, but felt it was important that I took the opportunity for which I’d worked hard. I did a pretty good job of putting aside most of my fears and anxieties prior to leaving. Life in Armenia was an illusion to me, so it was easy.  Now, after having been here for the last seventy five days, living with my host family, learning the language and culture, I am know this is where I will for the next two years. And yet, those fears and anxieties have become real.

I have been able to get a small glimpse of where it is I am headed and I know things are about to change drastically. There is a great expectation of me within my next community. The previous volunteer was active, well liked and successful in his assignment. In essence, he left a legacy that I will not fulfill. When I first returned from my site visit, this prospect was scary. My fear of failing, in this attempt at boldness and courage, started to creep it’s way into my head. Was I capable?

The last month has been spent mentally preparing for, what is now, right in front of me. Tomorrow morning I will leave my host family and head for another. I will be truly alone for the first time since arriving. My time will be my own again (to a certain extent) and I have three weeks to get my bearings in the new community. It’s interesting to realize that in two months time I have just started to get in a groove here, with my family, my extremely scheduled life, etc. I will have to start all over again. This time though, it is up to me to have a purpose.  So, I am going to start writing more letters and mapping out my village as a start. I am going to recharge the batteries so that by the time school begins my mind is once again open to a whole new experience.

I will be ok. I will succeed. And my life at home will always be waiting for me but Armenia will not always open in this way for me. I miss home and I miss my friends, but I am excited about the new friendships I have here. Mostly, I want to press on and see what awaits me. It’s not yet time to go home, there is still so much to learn...

After drafting this post, I got violently ill the night before my scheduled departure from Akunk. My family was really concerned for me and insisted on calling my LCF (language teacher within in the village) to say there was no way I was leaving. Luckily, Peace Corps obliged and allowed me one last ( albeit sick) day in Akunk. I slept on and off throughout the afternoon, was advised to eat nothing at all and drink only tea. By the next morning I was good to go so I took off in a white Peace Corps Toyota truck. The door to door service was excellent in my weakened condition, but I also felt like the queen coming into town... so that was sort of awkward.

I've been in my new home with my new host family for two nights now. I have a lot more privacy this time around. The area's terrain is completely different from where I was. You can look up my site Malishka, Armenia on Google maps! I'm in the valley of a mountain range, from where my house to located there isn't much view but it's still very beautiful. Glimpses of the beauty are too be had and I was really wanting to get out and walk around the neighborhood to see the view. Yesterday, with my new family I went over to their Tatik's (grandma) house just up the hill. She has this beautiful balcony that overlooks the community. It was so gorgeous and breathtaking. As I sipped my coffee and ate some of the freshest fruit of my lifetime I simply took in this view. It was a lovely afternoon.

School starts on September 1st. My Armenian counterpart will return from a translating job in Yerevan on the 18th, so I am looking forward to getting together with her and beginning to prepare for the school year to come. In the meantime: yoga, writing, singing my guts out, walking around town, yoga, writing, meeting other volunteers in the nearby town and studying my Armenian!!

Oh, and I may or may not have picked up Season 2 of The Wire in the PC library...