Regrouped, Refocused.

"There are those of us who haven't yet told our stories, or refuse to tell them, and so we become them: we hide away inside the memory until we can no longer stand the shell or the shock." Zoli Colum McCann

Zoli is a novel loosely based on the life of a Gypsy poet roaming Czechoslovakia as fascism spreads in the 1930's. I’ve shared the above quote with a lot of different folks as I travelled around the central region of Armenia last week (which you can blame my recent delinquency on). I also read it to my Daddy over the phone, encouraging him to start writing me some freaking letters! (And that there, my friends, was another plug).

Last Saturday, I caught the 9am bus to Yerevan on the side of the road all on my own- like a big girl! This was the first time my host father did not insist he drive me the 10 minute walk to the roadside. For some strange reason, I felt like a small child running away with my big backpack, increased heart rate and six-pack of Hot Cars in a plastic bag. The toy cars were for Vartincheek, the grandson of my first host mother, Silva. Just thinking back to that morning, which was about 10 days ago, feels like a month.

What’s that age old saying, “time flies”? (So much for the teacher who once told me to avoid, at all costs, using clichés in my writing). I am struggling to come up with some clever, poetic way to describe the whirlwind effect of life these days. It seems I woke up a few days ago and it was October, and in one more it will be November. I haven’t yet figured out how to straddle and ride this horse in a manageable way. It all just keeps getting away from me.

Anyway, once I got into the city I dropped my stuff off in the most American feeling apartment in Yerevan and headed out to Akunk. It was surreal driving back nearly three months later, alone and twice as independent than when I first left. The first bit of time was a little awkward, both the family and I needed some warming up. I admit, I've been slacking in keeping contact with them. I feel badly, but I don't feel close or connected to them the way that I did over the summer. It's almost like they were my starter relationship. I was naive in the ways of the nature of this relationship and while in it, felt it was the perfect fit for me. Yet now that I have found someone new, I realize that we weren't really all that close or similar. Ultimately though, I was happy to see them and we laughed at the same old jokes. They asked me about my new family, school and told me to come home soon. 

Afterwards, I met my friend in the nearby town and later we headed to Yerevan for a birthday celebration. I guess I needed to remind myself why I should steer clear of Jameson. Well, I remember now. Sunday morning, I was lucky enough to have the wonderful facilities of the Norwegian Consulate's apartment (an American who's been in Armenia for 13 years and works closely with Peace Corps). My friend Brian was kind enough to bring me back some breakfast from my favorite establishment in Yerevan, Green Bean. It feels like America in there. They serve unlimited unfiltered coffee, bagels and other gloriously American things. I got to bake in the hot sun for a good two hours on the back patio, sipping coffee and eating my bagel. In the afternoon, I headed back to the city of Talin with Brian and his sitemate (and my friend) Erica. Brian and I reminisced about high school as we watched 10 Things I Hate About You, then later made chocolate chip cookies with the girls and watched another movie.

In the morning, I left with my friend Phi's sitemate and headed to their site. I got to walk around Karakert and go to Phi's English club. I taught the kids the Barney "I Love You" song. It's ironic to be so in love with teaching this song when as a kid I thought it was really stupid. My third graders and I sing it together every class. Now that they actually know the words, it makes my heart melt. But, as I was saying, my time with Phi was short but sweet and the next morning we hopped the train with her two counterparts and headed back to Yerevan. I left her at a Peace Corps workshop and walked to the center of the city. It was really cool to explore a part of the city to which I had not yet ventured out. I parked my bum back at Green Bean. They started playing the album Rumors from start to finish and I opened my journal. For a two full hours, I was in absolute heaven. 

By the time I finally made it back to Malishka on Thursday afternoon, I was totally wiped out. I had been gone for five nights, but it felt more like ten. The next day I had the same workshop with my counterpart and peers from this area. We all got together afterwards to celebrate Halloween, as we weren't able to make it up North to meet with the rest of the volunteers. Fun was had by all; jokes were made, wine was drank, songs were rapped and tears of laughter were shed. I could not have asked for a better Halloween weekend. I didn't even have to get dressed up! 

Now, I am getting back into the groove with my counterpart at school. I swear, I left for one week and a quarter of what we had worked up to had been lost. This week my school started the winter schedule, so we do not begin until 9am. It's really nice for me because I am keeping my 6:30 alarm, but have more time to pretend like I have no responsibilities as I lay there listening to music afterwards. It's also really incredible how much that cold was sucking the life from me. I feel like a new person, both in and outside the classroom. It's so nice to be healthy again, after a full month of battling germs. 

Ok, that's enough for now. I'll share more thought provoking stories another time. 



Quote Of The Week: "I am computer." My student
Song Of The Week: "Every Single Night" - Fiona Apple