Things I Will Take With Me

A lot of people have been asking me what I plan to bring with me to Armenia. They ask, "Is there a list?" And I chuckle, saying, "Well, if there is I haven't really gotten around to checking items off". I'm pretty sure there is a suggested list. I should start looking into that...

In my opinion (and they are ever so prevalent) what is most important to bring with me to Armenia is myself. If I forget my underwear, which is a possibility -I have done this- at first I may be upset. But I will find some new small clothes and life will go on. But if I forget to bring me, and all my brain tools, then I'm in trouble.

BRAIN TOOLS?! That's right. The tools in my brain, that have supported me throughout trials and tribulations, are my most important item. And luckily they won't take up room in my luggage. Yay! Yoga and meditation are my greatest brain tools. For those of you sitting there thinking, uh Carolyn- yoga is not in your brain, well I beg to differ. Yoga has been one of the most important healing tools in my life. Anyone that has experienced true yoga is a practitioner and believer for life, whether they are devout or not. I'm sure there are those reading this who think I'm out of my fucking mind at the moment. Poo-poo I say to you. Knock not what you have yet to experience, young blood.

There is something sacred and spiritual that happens during personal yoga practice that is often hard to achieve inside a studio class, and even more specifically inside of a general gym yoga class. Then you come across those teachers that have the innate ability to quite your mind, if only for an hour or so. And if you're really special, you will be fortunate enough to find a mentor. (One dear friend of mine is of this fortune and I had the opportunity to practice with them both, it was splendid). The wild thing about the practice and the teacher who succeeds in getting their students past themselves, is that you only realize it after. The ancient healing practice is meant to open, stretch, heal and warm not only our bodies but our minds as well.

So, this I plan to take with me. And essential oils lavender and eucalyptus, because they bring me to a state of comfort and euphoria within a few minutes of deep inhalations. One thing I will say though, not having a bathtub in my life, and the privacy/time to lounge in one, will be a lack of luxury that I know will sting.

Another brain tool is my optimism and faith in people. Some may see this as a weakness, that another more shrewd individual will take advantage of this naivete. This is not entirely untrue. Some folks must always search for a way to have the upper hand, so that they feel powerful, important, etc. Unfortunately for them, the majority of their life meaning lies within digital numbers on a computer screen or unnecessary material objects. I am making an informed decision to approach life otherwise. Living a life of fear is not one at all. Fear takes on a lot of shapes and colors. And there are certainly things I fear, but getting hurt or duped is not one of them. It turns out that when you open yourself to others, they sense this intuitively and will often do the same. Sadly, once this has happened there is a labyrinth of emotional sensitivity to navigate afterwards. Things can, and will, get messy and uncomfortable when you engage with others; thus is life.

I would so much rather have truly known a person, even in their ugliness, than to not understand their life experience for fear of getting hurt.

These things I will take with me to Armenia.