A few hours after writing my last post, I came home from the gym to find my invitation on the kitchen counter. I was stunned. A small amount of fear began to seep into my chest and my heart rate increased. But, my 3 yr old niece was over so it was pertinent I play 'where is Soleil' prior to opening the packet. Oddly, I didn't have any sense of urgency but rather a reluctance to open the invitation. I think there are several reasons why, but most of them are unconscious; what I do know is that I was apprehensive about what assignment I'd been given. Would it be near a body of water? Am I leaving before Christmas? Is this something I still absolutely want to do? As adventurous as I am, the idea of leaving for a two full years is slightly disconcerting. Not that I feel the need to be surrounded by family and friends at all times - if anything 'alone time' is somewhat of a necessity in my life. Rather, it's the thought of coming home at 27 and having to start anew.
During the application process it is asked if there are any significant relationships that would prevent you from going abroad for two years. At the time there wasn't...now there is. My boyfriend and I have been together for just about three months. And when we met, it was with the understanding that both of us would be going overseas and neither wanted something serious. To make a long story short, we agreed to keep in contact after being together for only three weeks. He left for mobilization in Fort Hood at the end of August, then we got to spend a week together in New Mexico right before he was deployed. He's currently in Baghdad with shotty communication.
Most of my friends think I'm crazy to have knowingly started a relationship with Peace Corps around the corner. Military relationships are known to be difficult, with or without the other party also being abroad for an extended period of time. He has no idea when he will return. As conflicted as I am, I will not change my mind about serving in the Peace Corps. I know that it is the opportunity of a lifetime and I plan to seize it. And if you read the last post, you know how much I struggled to get this far. Yet, a part of me simply wants to stay home, find a steady job and wait for my boyfriend to come home. That's the romantic in me. The little girl that's been planning her wedding since learning what they were.
That romantic also really wants to get a cat to call my own.
The practical part of me realizes that while life is short, the static of adulthood is lengthy. I believe that above all else emotional and spiritual growth should take precedence. When I use the term spiritual, I am referring to our connectivity with both one another and nature. Those moments you are able to slow time down while soaking in an experience, be it with someone else or whatever you are surrounded by. This is what I am seeking in the Peace Corps.
So, in May of 2012 I will depart to Armenia. I will learn to communicate in both Armenian and Russian. I'm really hoping to swim in the Black and Caspian Seas. But I really hope that when I get back there will be a boyfriend and (hypoallergenic) cat waiting for me.
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