Week 3 in Akunk

This last week was the roughest one thus far.  Now that the adrenaline and excitement has worn off, reality has settled in some. Language class has gotten increasingly difficult and we only get one day off a week. There are few stolen moments of down time.  It may not appear that way to my host family, but it’s hard to consider it down time when you’re not in your home, not speaking your native tongue and have to let several people know of your whereabouts at all times.

Things were a little different this week, as the TEFL director insisted that her two-hour trainings be treated with the same importance as language class. We did an experiment where TEFL training was switched into the morning slot and language the afternoon. Nobody, nobody I tell you, was happy (this is false). Sitting through four hours of Armenian in a hot stuffy classroom after eating a heavy lunch is not ideal. I’m not complaining, but… well I guess I am. 

I so look forward to getting more familiar with the culture and eventually being off on my own. It’s easy to forget how awesome having FREEDOM can be. I am free in the philosophical sense but a lot of my life is scheduled here. There are things I have to do that frankly, I do not want to do. It’s also weird to feel guilty about wanting/needing to decompress. Some days I feel like a monkey in a cage whom needs to be performing at all times.  My host sisters are sort of fascinated with me; when I come home from school they want to hear all about it and take me places, and all I want to do is take a nap. Having a younger host sister is making me appreciate the fact that I was the baby of my family. It’s definitely a switch up in the roles…and necessarily an easy one.

Six days a week, I walk to and from school twice a day. One morning an enormous, hideous, terrifying bird began harassing me. It is the first time that I have felt truly afraid since being in Armenia. I have never seen a bird like this in America, but he’s a little smaller than a seagull and loud as hell. He was darting and squawking at me over and over until I literally started running a little bit. Just in time, I realized that I was about to trample over two other similar looking birds.  I was glad to understand why he was harassing me, but it didn’t make it any less scary. The next day, I saw some of the little boys that live near there messing with the hurt (maybe old?) birds. And as you might have already guessed, this same bird was losing his mind again.

Now, everyday I have to suck it up as this bird does his best to scare me away. Then on the way home, I have to get tough for the 10 little boys that harass me. They range in ages five to about fifteen. Some days, I feel like an 8yr old again. My new defense mechanism for the boy gang is to speak to them in English, just as they speak to me in Armenian. That worked for about two days…

But don’t worry. There is a lot of laughter, with my host mother and my friends here in Akunk. On Thursday of last week we had the opportunity to meet up with the group of volunteers who got here one year ago (A-19’s). We had group sessions for about three hours or so and then everyone went out to the field to play Capture the Flag. It was so much fun. I forgot how much I love to compete in big team games like that.  On the hour drive back to Akunk, in my favorite seat on our bus, Bobby D crooned through my headphones as the sun began to set across the Armenian landscape. Moments and images like these are truly worth every frustration. I smile to myself, giggle like an insane person and realize again, I AM IN ARMENIA!! 

Settling In

Hey Babies

I miss you, I love you!

I just had an awkward experience where my host mother’s family came over around 9pm at night and her nephew told me “ I would like you in my house” in English. Things just keep getting more and more interesting…

I get internet about three times a week and for two of those days it’s only for two hours. Once I get to my permanent site, it will be more regular. I have finally gotten myself a working phone and it’s so nice to be in contact with the volunteers not located in my village. It definitely lightens up the day when I get an ABSURD text from a friend that I can giggle to myself about.  For those of you interested in sending me presents, love notes, or pictures of yourself to put up on my wall then ask me and I will send you my address in an private email or message.

I have been able to get some sort of physical activity in at least once a day. There are two other women that I practice yoga with two times a week. It is such a pleasure to have these ladies in Akunk so that we may relax and rejuvenate together. I am so pleased with myself for having purchased a travel size, battery operated boom box thingy. (It’s cool as hell and all I want to do is put on some futuristic outfit and walk around with the little guy on my shoulder).   If you’re looking for something portable with good sound quality, check out Logitech.  It is exactly what I need and the envy of all my friends. (I made that up). I really must say, I brought a lot of unnecessary clothing but my speakers, yoga mats and essential oils have been so imperative in this transition. With these things, I can easily get back to a place of normalcy and calm. Interestingly enough, I have not really had to ‘get back’ to that place, as I’ve  yet to stray too far away from equilibrium.

Maybe it hasn’t hit me yet, but I feel totally at ease about where I am. Of course, there have been some minute challenges in the last couple of weeks. At times I have been irritable, exhausted and overwhelmed but all of these moments have been passing and temporary. Now that my host family’s situation has returned to normal everything else seems inconsequential. I’m amazed at how much I have been able to pick up the language thus far.  This morning on my walk to school (which takes about 7 minutes) I came upon a neighbor that I have yet to see. I was able to have a fluid interaction with her and could understand what she said to me. It was so exciting!!!

I got placed into the group of advanced speakers when we first arrived and a lot of Armenians have been complimenting me on my Armenian, so my confidence is pretty high right now. I don’t always get things right in class, but I sound good. As far as I am concerned, if you have the correct grammar but you can’t pronounce the words correctly, it sort of defeats the point. But hey, that’s just how I feel annndddd I probably feel that way because my grammar sucks but I pronounce things very well.

So, the other morning I was dreaming that I was in upstate New York, where my family’s summer home is on Lake George. In real life, I was invited to the annual 4^th of July party on Facebook. In the dream, I was at the party. It was early in the day and I was distressed because I was supposed to be in Armenia!!  I just recall being confused that I wasn’t there and wondering how I was going to get back. I awoke with a jolt and was totally surprised to find myself actually in Armenia in my comfortable little warm bed. I thought it was interesting. My immediate family members probably will not think so, as they have been listening to my dream recollections and expected to be as fascinated with my subconscious as I was my whole life. Ha. Maybe you can find some meaning in the dream!

Hope ya’ll are doing well!

Week 1 in Akunk

Week 1 in Akunk

Sunday was the first day in about two weeks that upon waking I was able to lounge in bed without a care. Nowhere to be, nothing pressing to do … it’s a feeling I easily embrace.  My host sister is still not home from the hospital and her mother is with her, so the house is pretty quiet right now. Every moment of silence that I steal is infinitely cherished. I was able to sneakily make my own coffee in an American sized cup and continue reading book 5 of Fire and Ice uninterrupted.  Simply thinking about it makes me smile.

 I just returned home from a 40^th birthday party for one of the volunteers.  Stacy is from Oklahoma and has an amusing larger than life personality. His family invited the eleven other volunteers in my village of Akunk ( Ah-koo-nk) over for treats and toasts. All four cakes were home made and incredible tasty (hamov). Currently, I do not have a working Armenian cell phone number, so my language teacher arrived unannounced at my house to escort me over to the party.  One of the host brothers was waiting outside in his Mercedes. This guy cracks me up, he’s sort of like an Armenian John Travolta in Grease. He is a very handsome, muscular young man and is aware of his appeal so much so that he rocks a sleeveless button up shirt regularly. 

Wait, wait, wait, Mercedes?!?! Let me explain. Like any other place in the world, there are varying socioeconomic status’ within Akunk. The difference between the disparities here and in America is the importance or priority of certain amenities. For instance, my host family has an outhouse but is in the process of putting a swimming pool in where the garage once was.

I believe I mentioned it before, but, my family is relatively less wealthy than the other host families. I have yet to go to a host home and find it equal to or even close to my standard of living. Admittedly, this has been a little bit hard to swallow. As a coping mechanism, I have constantly reminded myself of a few things. For one, I like to think that the adjustment to my future permanent site is going to be a lot smoother. Secondly, it’s an amazing experience in being on this side of the equation. One of my new friends is living in a really nice host home and in America she was sharing an one bedroom apartment with her mother and brother. So ultimately, she deserves to be in that nice house more than I do. I have known luxury, so what good would it do me to simply continue in that lifestyle? I wouldn’t experience the sort of personal growth that I am seeking in this experience.

 You’re probably wondering what I mean by nice in reference to the houses. Each new home that I enter surprises me more than the last. Driving around, you would never expect to find brand new flat screen TV’s and up to date bathrooms and kitchens. From the outside, the soviet era looking buildings remain… concrete, metal, dirt roads. Things appear to be very downtrodden. Leaving the street and entering a home is like stepping through a time machine. While there are new appliances, there are still many out of date ways of thinking. For instance, my sister is attending college in Yerevan and very much loves American pop culture. If she was dropped into any American city she would in no way look out of place. Yet, she adheres to many unfounded beliefs. For instance, being barefoot in the house will make you sick and water is only to be drank on an empty stomach in the morning or else it’ll fatten you up. Well, if that’s true then I’m going to get even more fat and sick.

So, I am going to try something new. If there is something you want to ask me about specifically, ask away. I figure there are topics I am leaving out that some may be interested to know about. My brain has been processing so much that to try and coherently regurgitate everything is virtually impossible. 

Akunk, Armenia

Well, it seems my brain was boiling over when I was writing my previous post. I am feeling a lot more clear headed now.

I have been with my host family for two nights now. Unfortunately, the morning before my arrival one of my host sisters was taken to the hospital. I have yet to meet her or my host mom at this point. Angela, 22, is one of my three host sisters and she speaks English very well. She will be a great, great help to me in learning Armenia. Unlike my language teachers, she is very open about telling me my pronunciation is wrong. That may change though, because on Friday the language class will be split into three groups. We were asked to give a self assessment of where we are and group ourselves with other similar levels within the class. Luckily, I have been told by my host family, my friend's host family and the man at the store that my Armenian (Hayeren) is very clear and good. Apparently, it's impressive. Before coming I thought this may be a possibility, as my history in music has given me a good ear for copying sounds precisely and using my tongue to make them.

I will say though, I am struggling to make guttural noises. It is so hard!! There are two different letters in the Armenian alphabet that are guttural and  differentiating them is nearly impossible at the moment. My host sister will be working on that though, don't worry.

There is much and more to say, but that is all the time I have. One quick tip: When travelling in Armenia and female, do not smoke cigarettes... they'll think you're 'available'. So much for wondering if I would be able to quit completely. Oh, and my bathroom is an outhouse, with a hole in ground. Ask for change and ye shall receive. 

Greetings from Armenia

Hello Babies!!!!

I finally made it! I am here in Armenia which is about an hour outside the capital city of Yerevan. The A-20 group has been here since Friday morning. When we arrived, the country manager and other Peace Corps Armenia staff took us to the Cathedral of Zvartnots (c.650 - 659 A.D.) to watch the sunrise. It is tradition for when new groups arrive each year and it is really special. I just posted pictures on the FB, so check them out there.

It's absolutely mind blowing that it is just shy of one week since my last blog post. Yesterday I started drafting a blog post that was going to have the break down of my travel and simply recalling those three days was tiresome, so I dropped that idea. So much has happened, I have met so many new people and been told a great multitude of things, trying to put together a succinct post is proving to be a challenge. I feel like my head to going to explode... in a good way.

This is the short of it: Tuesday I flew to D.C. and had about a 5 hour introductory session there. The next morning all 44 of us gathered our (overwhelming) luggage and headed off to Vienna. After a nine hour flight, we had day rooms right near the airport and had a to chance to grab some rest. I took a bath. Later that night we flew out around 10:30pm and arrived in Yerevan at 4:30am. Next was the cathedral, then an hour drive to our remote location. This was my first opportunity to sleep since the day before and I passed out like a rock. We were briefly introduced to our teachers and one another. For the last two days we have been in language, health, security and technical sessions that are about one hour each but last throughout the day. Luckily last night I went to bed and woke up at my normal, it feels great to be adjusted to the time.

Tomorrow I meet my PST host family. I am so very excited to unpack my things and get settled in. I will be there for approximately 11 weeks, whereafter my service truly begins and I am moved to my permanent site. I don't want to get ahead of myself, though. The next three months will be a great challenge, but I welcome it. Thus far I have been diligent with my yoga, writing and meditation practices and it seems this has helped to keep me both balanced and... nice.


Later gators!

Sentiments Before Departing

It's my last real morning at home in Babylon. The weather has been beautiful the last couple of days, but currently, it's foggy and overcast. I've left home so many times, for college each year, for AmeriCorps in Boston, and now for Peace Corps in Armenia. This time though, is truly the last. All of my things are packed so that when I do return to the states I can easily ship out. And this time, I can feel it in my bones that it is the end of a certain chapter in my life.

Last week I met my brother Andrew out in the eastern north fork of Long Island, wine country. I have and will always cherish our friendship. There is a Bob Dylan lyric (get used to this readers, because I will probably use his lyrics to process what happens over in Armenia as well) that pretty much sums up the backbone of our relationship, "We always did feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view". We spent the afternoon tasting delicious wines and soul-talking (as I like to call it). The conversation began at a cute bistro in Cutchogue for lunch, where we started with the future. What was my flight itinerary? 2014, eh? Have plans for you return before you do Carolyn, promise me. Eventually, we got to the past. We spoke of ugly and pretty moments we've shared, things we're not proud of and those that we are.

On the ride home, this wave of emotion hit me and I started to cry. Not because I was upset over the thought that we most likely won't see one another for two years and not because I am scared or sad to leave. It was a feeling that's somewhat new to me, but it's something which I am getting used to. It's gratitude and acceptance of where I've been and where I'm headed. On those back country roads with the sun beginning to set, I knew with not a single doubt that I'd made it. I got through the tough stuff, I climbed out of the quick sand and it is the most amazing feeling.

And now, I get to leave, like I've always wanted. I get to go out with my head held high, with my friends and family behind me. It is the most beautiful thing I've experienced thus far.

"So, why are you doing this?"

Last night I had my birthday/going away party at my parents home on Long Island. It was so wonderful to be surrounded my family members and close friends for an evening. It's been a wild year and last night was chalk full of surreal moments. It's been two years since I first applied to the Peace Corps and I want it more now than I did at first. Initially, my greatest motivation was escape. Now, I feel so determined to fully achieve this accomplishment. Getting nominated and later invited were feats within themselves, but to set out and get through the commitment is a whole different ball game.

Some of my parent's friends stopped by to say hello and have a drink. One of the ladies, whom has always been mildly blunt, walks straight over to me and says, "So, why are you doing this?" With little hesitation I responded, "It's an experience that I want." There you have it folks. I don't think I'm going to save the world, or that I'm some really awesome altruistic individual that sacrifices self to help others. I don't see myself that way at all. I am a human being with flaws, who is searching for meaningful connections. I have some already but, why not branch out in a completely unique and individual way?

I have this image in my head of what the Peace Corps experience will be for me. As my branches extend their reach, my roots will deepen and strengthen. In my growth, I will become more grounded. This is what I seek. I have some idea of what this will mean in fine print, but can't know truly until I arrive and start the journey. I remember being 21, directionless, and the Peace Corps crossing my mind as a possibility. I can't believe it's becoming an actuality with each nearing day. It doesn't matter that it took me this long, or that I'll be 27 by the time I get home. I am on my own timeline that doesn't line up with a lot of my peers, and that is ok. Where ever you are on your timeline is ok, too. Don't listen to anyone who ever told you you 'should' or 'need' to do, think, speak, or live in a certain way; because really, they just mean their way.  Chances are, their way won't work best for your growth.


It's funny, I got so many goodbye hugs and kisses and yet it STILL doesn't feel real.  Hopefully though, when I start to freak out (because I don't know when, but I know at some point it will happen) I'll think of all my proud friends and family back home cheering me on, smiling, singing, tears of love streaming down their faces. I'll remember all the moments of love and beauty from last night with a smile on my face and keep truckin'.